replied 5 years ago.
I agree that it is time to let him go. We were each others "first," , and we loved each other. I understand that he took our breakup very hard. He took it as I abandoned him. That was not the case nor the intent. the intent was to take care of myself because he had become controlling, rude and made no time for us. Three times before our breakup when i was talking to him about things, he fell apart emotinally, cried uncontrolably on the floor, and once in my driveway. I found this very strange. To meet him, he is a very controlled individual, very calm. There is another person underneath there. During one of those episodes he left bruises on my arm after grabbing me hard. When i showed them to him, his reply was "i dont care." So yes, you are right, he has no respect of me and my boundaries. When we dated 80% of our relationship was around his schedule. I guess when he began trying to communicate with me again, then the night he came over and tried to start over immediatly, he realized that i was not the same person. I was setting boundaries and saying what i could could not do. I did not let him call the shots. So yes, agian he had no respect of me. Another thing, we were intimate when we dated. Towards the end that is all he would want to do. I stoppeed being intimate with him, because i was feelings used. He was my first and only. About 3 weeks after we broke up, we were talking about trying to be friends. He then asked if we could be friends with benefits. I was shocked and offended. He knew that i was not that way. But that said a lot to me. When he came back into my life 3 weeks ago, and said that he wanted to try agian, he wanted to discuss the physical part of our relationship. He wanted to know if we would be able to do things, and wanted us to have the freedom to do things phyisical. I thought that was odd considering we had only been talking for 24 hours. He also wanted to know if I had been intimate with anyone while we were apart. i had not, but i dont think that is his business. After I was honest and told him that i did love him, but yes i liked the other guy, we agreed to take it slow. I needed some time to sort my feeings. Well after a couple of days i realized that i did not like the other guy that way. so i told my ex that i was ready to work on being more that friends. He said ok, but that it would be difficult for him to keep his hands off of me. I told him that i would not hook up with him anytime soon. But yes, i would kiss and snuggle etc. I said that it woudl take time, but yes, I would being willing to down the road if things worked out. WEll about 2 days later is when he started backing off a bit. When confronted he would say that he just couldnt get hurt again, and he worried that i liked the other guy. And that getting to emotionally close would only be harder down the line. So then I found out he was still texting 2 girls that liked him. He had told me about them. and honestly i wasnt too worried. I mean we had just started talking agian. Well one of them has a boyfriend, and now she doesnt, so they are becoming more of a thing. All of tht is fine and good, but why not just tell me the truth, and tell me himsefl that he didnt love me anymore. How would this other girl feel if she knew what he said to me. He does not share his emotions very ofter at all, really if ever. so yes, I think he opened a bucket of emotions tht he wasnt ready to deal with. It doesn fit into his contolled life. And clearly he was hoping for a physical relationship right away, which to me is disrespectull. I know I have said a lot, and i am slowly moving forward. Is the fact that I "liked" another boy really the reason he is doing all of this? I mean or is that an excuse to blame me yet again, instead of looking at himself honestly. He has a way of trying to blame me for his behavior. For making me feel that its my fault he was going back and forth. If you really loved someone, and missed having them in your life, and had a chance to work things out, would you not allow each other a little bit of time to work out whatever they had going on? I mean expecailly if, like him, he shows up at my hourse after 4 months, kisses me, and expets it all to be the same. it just really makes me angry and hurt that i opened my heart, showed I was willing to work on things, was honest, did not play games, and yet he has done mothing but play games. ANd he says all of this is to avoid him and me getting hurt. That is a lie!!!!