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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hi I am from South Africa but stay in Australia. We move here

Customer Question

I am from South Africa but stay in Australia. We move here 2 years ago and all my familly is still there, after all the trauma now he wants his freedom. We are 30 years married, we still go house there and 2 off my children and there familly is now here and he told me i can go back if i want, i was leave every thing there cancel my policies when we move here. We now busy with our permanent residence and I think after that he wants me to go because he see some one every week for coffee
What can i do ?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

You have to decide what you want and why. If he wants his freedom you have no choices. You have to respond to whether he wants this relationship. You can offer to go to counseling together. He may be open to salvaging such a lengthy relationship. If not then you do deserve to know the reasons for his decision. You can engage him in helping you become independent again since you have been married for so long.


The reason is important but so is your ability to be independent. Make plans so that you can make this transition easier. If his reasons are trivial then maybe you can address these in marriage counseling. Approach him in finding a solution that is less permanent such as couples counseling. Work on this together


If this was helpful press accept

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

So he will be free after he took me away from my familly and bring my children over and just drop the whole familly thats not fair to me i just started working and he is enjoying his life and i who is always a good and honest woman never cheat on his must just except it because he is not the strong one any more, the Bible teatch us you can not divorce the one from your young age.

can i ask for money because i lose my dignity and myself and he braught all the children over to australia - they left every thing behind to be with us and now he wants to go on with his live and leave all the children with me, in his opinion the children will look after me and he promised he will always looked after me. His familly is first in row for money but when I needs something there is always questions why and for what. Can I take every thing because how I see everything he is the onw who is going around with othe women.


thanks again


Customer: replied 6 years ago.

I still love him that is the baddest thing and he was always the boss in the house and I was the women with nothing and when we married he was staying with his mother/father and I was the one with every thing. At the end off the month when its was payday ir was ok.

Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
You can certainly ask for money. You and your children have to survive. Keep in mind that if you love him the way you are now that you are allowing him to walk away and do what he pleases. That is not a relationship that is balanced and compromising. You have to accept his behavior less and say what you have to say to get fair treatment for you and your children. He will do what you allow him to do