How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask psychlady Your Own Question
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

hi came out of a physical abuse marriage went on dating site

Customer Question

hi came out of a physical abuse marriage went on dating site meet a nice guy saw him couple of times for 10 weeks he went back to new york for his divorce problems we spent good couple of weeks together , laughed alot , once he went there he broke down all communications said needs to sort out things there and nothing since then , i tried contacting him couple of times no reply or no response ,,, feel betrayed and dont know what to do as iv said cant wait for him any more , as he dont even respond my texts what should i do
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

It sounds like for whatever reason he has decided that he does not want contact. You can't change that so you need to let this go for awhile. Give it a few days and then try once or twice. If you very persistent he may have lost contact for very innocent reasons and become annoyed with your contacts. He may be busy or working or any number of reasons and not able to interact right now. You have said enough right now. See if he contacts you but don't give him reasons to be annoyed. This is a new relationship and you would do well allowing him to see that you are calm under pressure. The impression that you give right now is going to last for a long time. You don't want to appear panicky because that is how he will see you

If this has been helpful press accept

psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
hi thanks for reply but for some reason why do i feel thast not hte answer am looking for as i feel am not doing well with relationships am very panicky becasue i dont want to loss him ..... and if he dont contact me when he is back in oct will feel i hav e been betrayed yet again
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I know you want to keep contacting him but you can only get as far as he lets you. That's why I gave you the answer I did. Don't assume he won't contact you. Think positively. Don't think about being betrayed at this point
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
thanks i really wish i could hold on to good things , but satisfied what more can i do apart from carry on with my life and think of him as something that happend and was nice
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
You can hang on to the good memories and consider that he may come around later. You can send communications periodically to see if he will change his mind but don't overdo in this regard. You don't know that eventually he will look back and consider that this was a positive relationship. You can't have a relationship without his participation but I wouldn't count things out yet. Carry on and focus on other things for now. Then you can move on in case he doesn't change his mind
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
as i did try and contact him with a nice email asking him if all well he is ok and i got nothing , i miss him so much as i feel he was there with me ,,,,, i know i should move on but feel i dont want to be in situation where i fall for someone else and he comes along again , i wish there was something i could do to reach out to him ,,, its like a stand still ,, i have a date with a old friend this week and i know he likes me but there is this thing my heart where i feel i give and gets broken again time and time again ,,, hate falling in love , my mum always said there is never a time limit to falling in love sometimes u meet someone and fall in love and i think she has proved it ,,,, i emailed him last week ,, and its monday ,,,,, its hurts so much knowing that time and time again it happens to me because i give so much away and they take it ,,,, so confused and begining to hate my friends who do have a lover , boyfriend ,,, husband ,, just dont know how they do it
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I can't stop thinking about the fact why it was so short and why he doesn't reply to my emails or texts , am not stupid I just can't understand the fact how one person could have been such a coward and not tell a person he was sleeping with on her face its over ,,,,, do I move on do trust another man this guy has made me loss my identity as its taken me a long time to be strong , why do I trust why do we fall for people who extend there hand of assurance feel like getting so angry and abusing him ,,,, but what use is it ? Am hurt so much
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

What you are going is waiting for this guy. You say I don't want to be with someone and he comes back. There is no indication that he will ever come back. If he was your choice, then drop the guy. But you are putting your life on hold. You can't base your relationships now on him. There may be a great relationship in the near future if you move on. You may be giving too much. You shouldn't give more than you get. That may be an issue. Because you are more hurt than they are.


He is a coward. He is not answering because he doesn't feel obligated to. Sorry but he isn't a nice person. I am so sorry for your position. You will find someone who appreciates you if you let them. You won't feel this vulnerability that you feel with him because you will be getting part of someone else too. You have to let go, take time to heal, and start over with a guy who is not going to hurt you. He is a coward. He is a thing of the past. Stop texting. Appreciate who you are.