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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Im an elderly lady about 60s and am short at 4ft 9 inches

Resolved Question:

I'm an elderly lady about 60's and am short at 4ft 9 inches but I'm confortable with it. What the heck I have to live with it. However, I attended a gathering recently and one of my old school friends showed me to the buffet table which was rather high but of course I have no problem taking the food from it. And that 'friend' said with a smile maybe a smirk " You will have trouble getting the food from this high table. Remember how we used to tease you and made fun of you when we were in school beacuse you were so short?" I was flabbergasted but just smiled and pretended that it was all a joke and exaggerated that I had difficulty in reaching the food. SAftertwards she again you will have to eat more so taht you will be bigger . What a stupid suggestion.
Anyway I ignored her subsequently.

What do you think of such people?. We were supposed to be friends from school. Aren't there any better comments to make to catch up on old times? What does she get out of insulting me like that? What is her intention for doing so. Are they really harmless commments for her to make?

People who are not in my place will not understand how I feel. They will just laugh it off. But I think a psychiatrist will defintely know how I feel and also will know the reason for the behavoiur of that person who insulted me. Please klindly enlighten me. Thank you so much
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

First of all this is not a friend. A friend respects you and doesn't make you feel bad. A friend respects your feelings. Comments are only as harmless as you let them be. If they hurt you then they are not harmless. There is a better and more appropriate ways to express to someone that you want to look back. If it was about her teasing she should have said Wow I was really wrong back then by teasing you about your height; that was really hurtful. This person really has not grown up at all since high school. Their insecurity causes them to make fun of you. They are immature and have no regard for the feelings or others or may not be aware of the impact of her words. She gains security by targeting others. She reminds me of a bully only with words. Distance yourself. She refuses to grow up.


If this was helpful press accept. Sorry for the delay

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
How do I cope with people like that and how should I respond to her hurtful comments in the future if I happen to meet her again?
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
You can respond in a constructive way if you think it serves a purpose. Let this person know that you are hurt and you feel that their comments were disrespectful. Maybe they will get it. I would not meet her again because she doesn't know how to be a good friend You should want better friends and ones that care about your feelings
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