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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Careers made us separate (physically we live in two different

Customer Question

Careers made us separate (physically we live in two different European countries) 5 years ago and divorce 2years ago. I have been raising our daughter alone, but he comes every 3.weekend to visit and stays with us. We've had holidays together and spent time together as a family. We haven't been intimate for 2 years. Divorce was my idea back then, because he couldn't compromise at all with his career. Now I would like to explore the possibility to get back together, but he absolutely does not. I find it very difficult to move on and accept the situation. But I cannot continue seeing him like this either. I am lost!
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

One the the reasons why you can't move on is that you have too much contact in a way that is too familiar meaning that it is just like being together. You can't maintain that type of relationship and move on. The point of moving on is to leave the relationship behind and be two separate individuals with too separate lives. If you want to really distance yourself do just that. It is great that you want to set a great example but not at the expense of your own well being. I don't think this is healthy for either of you. If he has said he wants to move on great but then behave as people not in a relationship. For your own safe you have to make some major changes. The first should be no staying over. People broken up don't stay the weekend at the other person's house. That physical intimacy is going to create an emotional dependence that says I want to be a couple. The other changes should follow but this should be first


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