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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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How do I get my boyfriend back

Customer Question

My boyfriend has been under a lot of stress with work and ex-wife.I tried to get him to snap out of it, but instead he took it out on me and said many things that he should have said to his ex-wife and secretary. I got upset and moved out. He hasn't called and his birthday is XXXXX When ever we've argued he says I always rush him to resolve things (usually after 4 days), this time I feel he should be the one to fix things. We're suppose to go away with all the kids this weekend to a conference that he's speaking, but he hasn't called, so I guess I shouldn't call for his birthday. We've been dating for 2 1/2 years and he is going to be 51 tomorrow. He never likes to admit he is wrong or apologize.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

If you want to resolve this then call. Don't worry about who called who. In the end it is about whether the problem is resolved. I know what you are saying about him not wanting to be wrong but if this trip is important to you then go ahead and call. You may give up your chance to go if you worry about the fact that he is wrong. You can hold out but things could have been different if someone picks up the phone. If he is wrong then give him a chance to apologize. If he doesn't then you know he does not think he is in the wrong. If you want to wait then you take your chances. It is better to talk about an argument than about who makes the first move. It is up to you


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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I tried calling, but he let it go to voice mail. I texted him the following: Happy Birthday. I haven't told the kids anything yet. Christina and Bianca are excited about your present and this weekend. I haven't had the heart to tell them we broke up. I don't know if you have said anything to Clarissa (his daughter), but she also knows about your gift and I don't want to upset her either that she doesn't have anything to give you. It's your call. Just let me know how you want this to play out. He hasn't responded and it's been 2 hours.
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
You should tell them briefly but succinctly that you broke up. They have to know about this weekend as soon as possible unless you think it is still on. I think your message was short and appropriate. See what happens
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I will inform the girls tonight. My children texted him this morning to wish him a Happy Birthday and he responded, so I guess I should take his silence with me that are relationship is over?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
He texted and invited the children and I to celebrate his birthday at a thai rest. He informed me that he still had the 2 rooms that he would take 1 with his daughter and I can take the other with mine. He also informed me we could drive separate and I agreed.

I usually attend all the evening functions with him, should I just spend time with my daughters and let him attend the functions with his daughter this weekend?
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
That is up to you. You have to decide if this is going to be a family type weekend or a couples weekend mixed with family time. The type of weekend is governed by the plans you make. I think you should plan according to your purpose. Do what you think is best. I can see how a mix of activities would please everyone