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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  PHD LPC
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hi my boyfriend and i have been together 7 months in this short

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hi my boyfriend and i have been together 7 months in this short time he has lost his mum and now he lives with his dad age 72. i love him dearly and he always says he loves me every day which i truley believe.problem is we never really get time together alone i have children and he has two which stay with him every friday until monday. i get on well with them and he gets on well with mine but we never stay over at each others houses or even sleep together. he says its difficult with kids around but there always going to be here and other people have relationships that have children. he has been seperated 4 years but wont divorce.i have been seperated 3 years and my divorce is going through. his seperated wife had an affair and lives with the other guy but does still seem to pull the strings . am i expecting too much and being insecure cos they wont divorce or does he still have feelings for her. ive asked him and he says its just easier to be nice and the kids dont get hurt which im all for but dont see the point in being married if you want to make ago of a new relationship even if its just for closure on the past one .i know they will always have that bond because of the children but he seems to want me but holding back and i dont know why.but i dont want to scare him off if he thinks im insecure or jealous which i could well be cos ive been cheated on by my ex husband of 20 years. i dont want to spoil this relationship because he really does seem a nice man who loves me and my kids and a great dad to his own, but does hold back on intimacy weve slept together 3 times in 7 months .he says he cant leave his dad alone all night or his kids at weekend. and mine are always at home i cant see a solution whilst he feels this way can you suggest anything thankyou
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 6 years ago.

Dr. Keane :

I can help you today.

Dr. Keane :

I am sorry that you are having this issue with your boyfriend. I am not sure you are going to like the answer I am giving however you may need to hear it. If he has notintention of getting a divorce because it is "easier" this way then it is very possible that he is hoping for a reconciliation with his wife. I would not continue this relationship, you are going to get hurt. You are not being insecure and I am sure he is a very nice man, that has nothing to do with the fact that this very nice man is afraid, or not able to tell you that he isn't doing anything. He is using his Dad as an excuse. He isn't vested in your relationship. The only thing you can hope for is that after you break it off he realizes that he needs to move on, gets divorced and commits to you.


thankyou you really just confirmed what i was thinking

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