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He left me and doesnt want to come back. Its been a bit of

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He left me and doesn't...
He left me and doesn't want to come back. Its been a bit of a turning point of our relationship where our perfection of the relationship has suddenly be crashed as, he left months ago and on return to the family home - he decided to give it a shot but on the grounds that he got to live at a distance and stay in his lodge during the mending of the relationship As he visited me and the children in the day, he would return to his lodge and drink to early hours of the morning, made female friends and forever swapping cars from sporty to sportier. He wants the best of both worlds, and bringing down his laundry, having family meals with us, and even on odd occasions overnight for a little intimacy, he seemed to be making promises to return, but as i finally put my foot down asking him to either return or leave. He left again. This time he says he's not coming back, and cutting all ties with me. Shortly after the departure he was photographed boozing with his female friends in his lodge and even put him self up on a dating website. His best friend has followed pursuit, walking out of a 8 year marriage himself, (they had not children). I am left baffled over his midlife crisis holding two boys that are entering teens themselves. I wonder is there anyway to survive the relationship after his actions, or am i best left to it... I am utterly feeling completely rejected. Please help?
Submitted: 6 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 4 hours by:
8/5/2011
Counselor: psychlady, Counselor replied 6 years ago
psychlady
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6,893
Experience: I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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It seems that he is going through a very selfish period as well as a crisis. Any way you take him back now he will still have the best of both worlds. If he is on a dating website he is moving on. That says I want to meet someone new. You are unfortunately wasting your time. If you continue to hold on to the idea that you are in a stable relationship than he will have his cake and eat it too. He is finished with the relationship but has all the benefits. I understand why you feel rejected. The best way to remedy that is to find closure and let this go. Develop ways to coparent and let him move on which he is doing anyway. You will continue to be hurt if you don't accept all the signs that he is giving you. Find someone who wants a monogamous relationship. You have to accept the obvious.

 

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psychlady
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