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I reached out to an old friend I knew from high school about

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5 years ago and we...
I reached out to an old friend I knew from high school about 5 years ago and we developed a friendship again. I'm 37 and have been divorced for 6 years with an 8 year old son. He's 43 and never been married with no kids. Against my better judgement I've also had sexual encounters with him over the 5 years but I only saw him every few months because he travels for his career. At the time I reached out to him we really hit it off and he told me he was going through a break up with his girlfriend. It finally ended a year ago and we grew closer so two months ago I asked him for a commitment to just be exclusive (not marriage) and he said he wasn't ready. We had plans the next day but I was crushed so I sent him a text and told him I couldn't see him that day because I couldn't continue falling in love with him when he made it clear he wasn't ready for a commitment. He said he understood and would honor my feelings. So we didn't see each other and I didn't hear from him nor did I contact him until a month later when I wished him a happy bday. He thanked me but said he was wondering if he'd ever hear from me again. I said of course we're still friends right? He blew up at me and said he thought we were until I cut him out of my life with no regards XXXXX XXXXX feelings. I apologized and told him he didn't leave me a choice since he wasn't ready for a commitment and I was falling in love with him. He told me it was never about the sex and he loved spending time with me so we agreed to just be friends. This past Sunday was the first time I saw him and he confessed his love for me and told me he wanted to marry me one day and have a baby with me. Then he brought me to his parents house and in front of me told his mother I was the woman he was going to marry and have a baby with. He never agreed to a commitment though and said we would remain friends with no sex until the time came that we were both ready for more. I do believe he was genuine with his feelings for me and realized he didn't want to lose me but my question is should I wait for a proposal now to engage in sex with him again or should I go back to having sex with him since he professed his love and plans for our future together? I don't want to use sex as a tool but I'm so confused because we aren't committed and I'm afraid of getting my heart broken.
Submitted: 6 years ago.Category: Relationship
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Answered in 1 hour by:
8/4/2011
Counselor: MrsRuss0114, LCSW replied 6 years ago
MrsRuss0114
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 215
Experience: B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.
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Russ0114 : Hello and thank you for choosing just answer, I look forward to assisting you.
Russ0114 : I think until you have a solid commitment then you should continue to be "just friends, no sex" it's one thing to say something but it only means something when there's an action behind it. I completely get your confusion, at one point he says he's not looking for a commitment and then on the other hand he's telling his mother the two of you are going to get married and have children; very mixed signals. So again, until you have something tangible like a ring and a proposal then my advice is to not engage in sex.
MrsRuss0114
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 215
Experience: B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.
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