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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1768
Experience:  PHD LPC
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Question for Dr. KeaneIm dating a married man. Im divorce

Customer Question

Question for Dr. Keane

I'm dating a married man. I'm divorced - we are both in our 40's. I have worked closely with him for 15 years-been seeing him for 1 year. His marriage is beyond repair. I know the wife. She spends money like water, doesn't like other women - is very vindictive. She reads books about how to "get back" at people. He says if he could have an amicable divorce he would be out tomorrow but she won't go for it. They have 3 school age kids. They only have sex when he says he might leave then she is sweet and kind for about a month and then goes back to nasty. She calls his best friend every day and lights up when he walks in the room. He is also married. Any chance my boyfriend will leave the wife?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 5 years ago.

Dr. Keane :

Hi, I can help you today.

Dr. Keane :

His marriage may be "beyond repair" but what he wants, an "amicable" divorce is not reality. He is "cheating" and she is not happy with him and probably stays for the lifestyle. Going to take a lot for him to leave and it will probably never happen. If he wanted to get a divorce he would get it, amicable or not. Do you think that there is a future for the two of you or do you question his reasoning for not getting divorced? If she won't go for it then they are both willing to be miserable together. There is always a chance but I wouldn't invest much time in this relationship if you are looking for permanence.

Dr. Keane :

Please accept and feel free to comment on this response.

Customer : He says that she will hold the kids over his head and I believe that. He admits that he is afraid of her. He says that leaving her is "a process" that he is working through. He says that she is wearing him down and he hates the way she treats him - very degrading. Do people in this situation eventually leave or wait until the kids are grown?