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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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Wondering if I am overeacting. I have been dating my girlfriend

Customer Question

Wondering if I am overeacting. I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year. She, rather often will, "freak out" or stress over things that are beyond her control. As a for instance; our flight was delayed 2 hours. She was very upset and as much as I tried to came her down she would not. I recently told her about this issue that I have with her and that I wish she would just learn to relax and not become so upset when something doesn't go her way. She has said to me "this is how I'm wired" or she has said "maybe I'm not the right girl for you" - I was hoping she would have said "ok I'll work on it" but that didn't happen. Please help me to understand how to handle this. Thanks
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 6 years ago.
This is her personality, but there are ways to work on this. Her personality is someone that let's those little things get to them. Its not major things its the things you would not expect. Wat you can do is explain how wouldshe feel if you did that. Pointing out how she reacts will have her learn what she does and explaining why you feel its not right will help her see. A personality like this you can't just come out and say they are wrong in how they react. You can explains better way of handling it or explaining how she would feel if you did that. She was upset the flight was delayed, but that is something you have no control over. Tell her you can't fix the problem or change it and there is a reason why the flight was delayed. There is no point in getting upset over it, let's use this time to spend together. even though she said that is how she is she is not changing but I think if you point things out she will change because she will know how she acts. Some times you don't know how you act unless its pointed out. She might think how she acts is normal. But she might also feel you need to accept her for who she is. If you have anymore question I will gladly answer.