Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
Hi, it would be unhealthy to go against what you believe you ought to do. Good behavior for a week is not sufficient to show long term positive changes on your partners end. You've got to figure out what is a reasonable time frame during which you want to see some solid improvement that will be permanent. Another option would be couple's therapy or coaching. You listed counseling under things already tried bit it is unclear if it was individual or couple's counsleing. If you have less things in common than not, often it is an indicator that the partnership may not be healhty or long lasting. It all depends on how these changes are handled/managed and what compromises or sacrifices each partner is willing to engage in.
"But am I in danger if I stay with him? Is a shot at love and a chance at not ripping the kids fr another parent figure worth the risk of ending in a domestic violence situation?"
Past behavior is a reasonable predictor of future behavior. You've got more negative behavior over a long term of period and few days of calm. A question to ask yourself is- why did it have to get to this point- leaving to push a change in his behavior? The kids may not be threatened now, but would you be willing to wait to see if that changes? Love is non abusive. It is unhealthy to stay with someone just for the sake of the kids. In order to make a wise decision, you'd have to be honest with yourself and know for sure what is it you want out of a relationship and what you want from a partner in the next 5 years, and if this person can give it to you.