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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am married and been in a long off-on relationship with a

Customer Question

I am married and been in a long off-on relationship with a married man. How do you know when the man is done with the relationship. I think I hurt his pride by trying to end the affair when he wasn't. Now he acts different but still keeps in touch. Is it over and just friends?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

If the communication has changed then the relationship probably has as well. You know if when you are together whether the relationship is on an intimate level. If you ended it then you probably changed the relationship. Relationships have to be an exchange between two people on the same level. You may have hurt his pride but you have to expect that he is going to feel a certain way about this. I think if he is keeping in touch on some level there is a friendship but that may be it. You can't expect to have more when it is supposed to be over.


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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Although I said I was sorry and overwhelmed, he never got over the situation. He said it was in the past but kept conpulsing on situation. If we are in friend status and over, than why can't he say it?
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
Men tend to not say things like that. The best way with a man emotionally speaking is to ask. I wouldn't wait though if it were me. I would just end it and then the friend status won't matter. It is almost impossible anyway to remain friends with someone you are involved with. If you end it then it is clean and there is finality. There is not all this guesswork. He is not saying it because he is not verbal about this so ask.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Without being blunt, I did somewhat ask but never got a direct answer as he kept repeating how he fully didn't understand where my words and actions came from. He is still saying he doesn't understand but at peace. So what does that mean 'peace?' He forgave or moving on? And why does he feel the need to check in 1 week if friends? And did I mention this relationship has gone on for 10 yrs?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Relist: Other.
Would like another voice but with all my questions to the original expert