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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hi ..just wanted to share something that i dont understand

Customer Question

Hi ..just wanted to share something that i don't understand myself but really bothers me...
Story started about 8 months ago.. after hurtful break up with my ex..I desperately felt i needed attention to cure my broken heart and signed up for one of the dating websites...first days nothing was really going - guys were emailing me but no one draw my one of those days i was sitting myself being bored and clicking on any handsome faces in of the guys immediately reacted and sent me online message...we started to that moment i felt an attraction...that day we were talking about 5 hours...then i had to go ..never said by but couldn't stop thinking about him...(i was very happy about the fact to be honest - distracted from my hard break up).I never heard from him again until in a week i saw him online and opened a chat window myself.So he told me his membership expired and he cant open chat windows himself any more. Which was true and i still had mine for 3 months.So we ended up chatting once a week getting to know each other.Normal conversations like how many brothers sisters etc we have...we could stay online with each other till early morning - 4 am 5 am...if i wasnt come online he would tell me he misses me...then he went away but would email me every 2 or 3 other 's been like this for about 2 months...Guy never asked my phone number - i was wondering why ,when i was chatting with some other boys - they would ask my number in a 2 or 3 days..well anyways i started to feel a huge attraction to a guy -Lets call him Bob:).So in a two months after one of those late night chattings he finally asked my phone number...Normally i wouldnt do it but we knew each other for abt 2 months..he sounded normal and sounded like we like each i gave him my number and he called right away...that is when a huge huge dissapointment revealed ...- one of the questions in a 5 min of talking he asked me what do i like in sex...i was shocked....i would never expect that question from him in a first phone i said for two month we had fun and had great talks...i was very very dissapointment..i know guys like to talk about sex and i don't have problems with it unless i know person! but i still never saw him...So a little bit about a guy-he is 32..successful doctor...loves to travel...have many friends and relatives (in one of our chat days we found out that i actually know sone of his cousins that have very good reputation)..handsome(with a little weight tho)..But the longest relationship he has been to lasted about 8 months...He sounded interested because a few times he desperately was asking me about my past and what type of guys i like..he offered me to meet but never really set up the day..was just plans....i was always joking and easy going since my heart was just broken i didn't feel like to be attached to someone at least to show unless i know that someone is really interested..many times we were talking and he kept telling me that i am a player...but i never ever gave him anything to talk about sex with me on a first phone conversation...i joked out and we talked a little bit and hung up.Maybe i am not right???
Anyways after that phone call i was very dissapointed and backed up... i never really contacted him any more ...just maybe after we talked a couple times...and last thing i knew he was supposed to go away again i me too...Saw him constantly online tho:( when before he use to come only once in a while.. So i went away and during that period of time moved on quickly with my life picked up myself became again happy person simply started to take care about myself....i never really went to that web site again since i didn't find anybody and my membership expired...The only bad thing (or good thing) i couldnt stop thinking about THE GUY!!!! i didn't know what to do but didn't do anything...totally believed it was something in between us...As i said i knew his cousins and actually found someone who knows him!It was only one person i ever shared with a story and she told me he seems like a nice guy and very friendly... or well...after last time we talked ''s been around 3 months and i totally thought he doesn't remember me any more and def doesn't have my number any more until one spring day having lunch with a friend i got a text message from him "hi how r u?'!!!!!!!!! i changed my number and didn't have his number saved but instictly felt who was i said i didn't have his number saved and i asked who this is...he said "oh u don't remember me any more"..:(...well he texted me an early afternoon and i kept asking his name he never told me trying to make me guess the end of the day i was still out and i got tired of his games and i told him if he is not telling me his name i am not playing his games...through his game messages he was trying to find out different names of the guys that i met recently..Please wait for the end of the story!!!!next
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
This sounds very creepy. You should not even interact with him. There are so many weirdos out there you don't need someone who asks about sex on the first phone call. Then he just pops up? This guy is up to no good. I would be very careful. He seems too willing to get information or ask for information that is very personal.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
so the end of the story is that after that i went to that website again and he messaged me right away and had a normal conversation..i told him i knew it was him texting me the other day..he neer texted me again but in a ten days after i went online again and he poped up again inviting me out was around 9 pm and i said it is gettin late and i refused...he got upset(sounded like it) and sad oh we never gonna meet..he told me he never met anybody and thinks that website is crap...well in a about 3 weeks from that day i got a text message from him saying hi...i asked him what is he doing and he told me wheer he is..he was around the corner from my house...i joked saying he has to call me next time he is around...and i am sleeping now...he told me ok next time have a good night i never replied ...he send me a message again i am playing with him he said i am ignoring him so i didn't bother to text him back since i was in a bed already...he called me...i didn't answer..he sent me upset message i didn't answer...he called me again since i was trying to sleep and i couldnt cuz of him i answered he said he would want to see me next time he is around and mentioned (again!) if he can sleep next to me tonight of course i said know...he told me i ignored him and he is upset...anways i told him to go to exactly in a week from that day i saw him!!!!!!!!! around with his cousins .after they told me.he went to the same place ..that day he never called me...gotta tell u every time he is talking to me feels like he is a bit usecured ..
well after that in a 2 weeks i decided to text him myself-i just sent him a friendly message..saying hi...he asked me how am i and i told him i am enjoing summer at the beach..he asked me if i have pictures..i decided to tease him and simply sent him a picture where he can see the beach but cant see my face ..of course i don't feel comfrotable to send him beach pictures since i don't know him...he asked me for a normal picture and i did't phone after again i got desperate messages telling me that i am a player and i am not the end he told me he got offended that i sent him picture with my back on ..i told him he saw my face (he did on a pictures)..and he said that is why he got offended...he said he was always serious about me and i always play and i said listen instead of looking at my pictures come over and meet me(of course in a pubilc place)...he said he wont do it if i don't even feel comf to exchange pictures... i just said bye...
call me silly but i felt for this guy for sometime and had absolutly normal talk before and thought he is normal....Player? creep?? what do i do next....that is how they all act? why would he act like this ? explanation ?
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I don't have an explanation. I just know that he seems awfully intrusive. I don't like the way this sounds. I am picking up a strange pattern here that I can't explain. I think you should be very careful. If there are sexual overtones to all of his conversations then this isn't about just being friends and hanging out. I think you should be careful. I don't even like the pictures conversation. He doesn't know you like that. I would consider whether or not his behavior seems out of line.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.