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Ask Rev.Dr. August Abbott Your Own Question
Rev.Dr. August Abbott
Rev.Dr. August Abbott, Clergy
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7608
Experience:  Ordained minister: Counselor (spiritual/life)
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Okay, I need some reassurance. I broke up with him for good

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Okay, I need some reassurance. I broke up with him for good as of yesterday. He has four adult daughters all that have come to mean something to me and four grandkids. We're all from the same area with mutual friends. All on Facebook. I've got to distance myself....I took him off my facebook....

I made a list today of all the reasons I cannot be with him and I've looked at it to reassure myself at least once an hour (even though I'm terribly busy at work)....but I'm in tears and still I know I'll miss SOMETHING from this relationship....basically just the occasional companionship. But he's a mess physically, emotionally and is not educated and cannot even discuss anything other than sports, his latest ailment, how broke he is or his kids. (one which is just as much a mess as he is)....Please don't tell me to get busy, find things to do, etc but please give me something I can use daily to get over this, work through and past this. You are the only one who gave me a good answer before so I wanted to come to you again. Thank you!
-- I'm proud of you and the unbelievable strength you've shown. Now hang on for dear life and know this, every day that passes is a day further away from the pain.

This is like a death. You need to mourn it and put it behind you. Of course finding a new hobby would be a good thing, but yes, obviously that's the last thing you're thinking about or wanting to do.

Reminding yourself that the relationship has died and you've just buried it may help you with perspective.

Like losing anyone in your life, or even anyTHING (a dear, beloved pet) tears your heart apart, you know that it gets better.

So will this.
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