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Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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My partner recently broke up with me after a wonderful years

Customer Question

My partner recently broke up with me after a wonderful year's relationship because he said he didn't know if he wanted to be with me. He said later that he loves me, I'm his best friend and he is very attracted to me. I pointed out that these things are what make a great relationship but he said there was something (weird in his words) in his head telling him something wasn't right. He still texts me and contacts me every so often, although I have tried to be strong and move on. I love him so much and what we had was really great and rare in my opinion.

Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 5 years ago.
Sounds like you two are a good match. I wonder what is stopping him from pursuing the relationship further? it is a vague answer he gave you about something not feeling right. Any guesses as to what his issue is?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I don't understand either, and that is my biggest problem. I've said this to him, but he can't give me any answers. He said he is very self-destructive and knows that in time he will probably regret this, but still he couldn't committ. I felt like I gave him ample opportunity and offered him support. It's extremely frustrating, as what we had was rare and special.


I can only guess he's going through a lot of life changes at the moment and everything is getting a bit much for him. He has recently left college and there is a big lifestyle shift there.


It just feels wrong.



Expert:  Dr.G. replied 5 years ago.
So what is your plan? Wait for him, move on for good, get back on the dating scene?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I'm not sure really? It's been 6 weeks now and I still feel like I'm getting nowhere. I've tried waiting, tried moving on and not contacting him. The frustrating thing is that only 3 days ago he said he loves me, misses me terribly but his head is messed up.

I went on a date but it wasn't great as I felt guilty and didn't want to be there. I think it was probably too soon. I would wait for him but there is no time guarantee and what happens if he never decides?


Expert:  Dr.G. replied 5 years ago.
Well it sounds like you are thinking about this situation in a good/healthy way. I am not sure what more I can offer you. I don't think you deserve to be treated the way you did. This may be a blessing in disguise because it seems like your now ex partner has some issues he needs to work out. More than likely those issues would eventually interfere with the relationship between you two. Better for him to work on them as a single man than to bring his baggage into the relationship.