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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I was in a relationship with 2 men at the same time for 5 years.

Customer Question

I was in a relationship with 2 men at the same time for 5 years. Recently they both found out about the deception. The first man has many problems. He has cheated on me several times and has broken up with me about three times over the course of the relationship. I loved him the most. The other is supportive, loving, tolerant and wants to work it out. The other wants me out of his life though I would have thought he would understand since he's done the same thing over and over with different women. My dilemma is I'm still attached to the first. I'm not sure if its addiction to the turmoil that came with loving him or am I just crazy. I know I want to spend my life with #2, but #1 actually has my heart.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

It sounds like you are addicted to the drama. Sometimes when relationships are that rocky the excitement becomes more addictive then the actual relationship. The true test would be if the relationship was that appealing when the drama ends and it's just you and him. I think the fact that he cheats creates this feeling of I want to have him (but if he fools around on the side and it is exciting). If number one has your heart than you don't want to spend your life with number two. That makes no sense. Why spend your life with someone you settled for. You have to decide what you want. Your behavior can be very hurtful. Decide what you want and go for it. If you don't want the guy that wants you leave him alone completely.

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