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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1852
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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Is it wise for me to meet up with Lloyd again He wants to

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Is it wise for me to meet up with Lloyd again? He wants to call me.
I would meet with him again to catch up on things and see what your feelings are for each other. You might both discover that you need to be in each others lives. Some times time apart can cause people to learn their true feelings for someone. Often times the separation brings feelings of letting someone go that can never be replaced. I think he realize that you were someone very special and there was no one like you. Forget the past an start over like this is a new relationship. You don't want the past to cloud the future. People change and this could be the first step in having a great relationship. This could be your second chance. If you ave any questions I am here to answer.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Should I tell him how hurt I was from his not reponding to any of my e-mails or phone calls? I actually went into a deep depression and had to have my doctor add to my anti-depressant meds. Actually lost weight and didn't want to eat - could not laugh at anything or didn't want to socialize with family or friends. Please advise as to how much I should tell him. Thanks!! Bev I just recently (before this last e-mail from him) had started to feel better about myself and was ready to move on.
I understand that you were in a relationship for 2 months and then he would not answer your phone calls, or e-mails. He has now contacted you because I feel like he has realized what he let go. I think he figured out you were not someone that could be replaced. I don't want you to talk about how him not contacting you effected you just yet. I want you to both enjoy each others company and then you can discuss how you felt when he didn't contact you. Right now he is contacting you to see you and he wants to catch up. The very first time you meet up, you do not want to express how depressed you were and how it effected your life, you want to just catch, then the next time if you are comfortable you can talk about how the relationship effected your life. That you cared about him so much that it causes very upsetting feelings. I understand why you felt this way because you had no closure and no explanation on why he didn't contact you. It is ok to ask why he didn't but I would wait until the next time you see each other. This first time is just about getting back and talking about your lives.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Well, he did call me last night at 5:15pm and asked if I wanted to go get something to eat and I did say OK and then we went for a ride and talked about what we had been doing. I also asked him if he had dated anyone and he said NO and he asked me the same question. Talked quite a bit and when he brought me home - he asked to use the bathroom and then he said it is late so I will go and I will call you. I thanked him for a very nice evening and we didn't even kiss goodbye, which is ok with me. Thanks and we will see what might transpire as the days go by. Bev
That sounds like you had a wonderful night and the start of something really good. If you both take things slow and get to know each other again. Don't think about the past, you both need to move forward and start again. You mentioned you both haven't dated anyone and that is a goos sign because it sounds like he might have been afraid of being in a relationship. His feelings for you might have been so overwhelming that he backed off. Now I feel he is sure on what he wants to do this time.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Thank you for your advice. We will see what develops as I feel that we both need our space as he lives downstairs of his daughter and her husband and two grandchildren who are involved in volley ball and they have tournaments out of town and he doesn't miss any of their sports events and also has 2 grandsons who play hockey. I also have girlfriends who like to shop and eat out and I am also starting in a yoga class. So, now I am so busy that I can hardly keep up with my condo and bill paying. All is good and now I know to take one day at a time and enjoy whatever is going on. God Bless! Bev

Yoga is great I think you will really enjoy that. It is good to enjoy life, but it is very true that you can be so busy, you get sidetracked from the bills. You just have to take that little bit of time maybe before you go to sleep to catch up on things. Managing time isn't easy. But I feel that you are doing the right thing, you take the time to do the things you want to do and you also sound like this time this relationship would be different. You often learn things from the past so that this time this relationship will be stronger. If your need anymore help I will be here to answer.
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