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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I caught my ex cheating and I wonder if he will always cheat He

Resolved Question:

I caught my ex cheating and I wonder if he will always cheat?
He has the reputation of being a player etc etc! However he swears he has changed but I feel like he has a thing still for his other kids mom.
Everyone had told me, everyone except his friends that I need to keep my eye on him.
He keeps saying that what I'm hearing is all gossip and lies! But I just don't know... If I let him get away with it am I going to get played again?
Also I found out that while he was trying to work it out with me he signed up and paid for two dating sites! I don't get it!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

You don't know if he is getting away with anything unless you know he has cheated. You can't base your suspicions on what others say. He may have been a player for he may not be one now. You have to trust him and his communication or let the relationship go. There has to be trust. If you trust that the dating sites is his way of hooking up then let him go. True you don't want a partner on dating sites. So you have to decide what you will tolerate and why. If he is seeking dates, end it now

If this has been helpful press accept

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Well I caught him cheating spoke with the woman! I know he's cheated before... Buy always had some excuse ... And I let him get away with it ... Do you think he will cheat again?
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
Absolutely. Firstly because he knows you tolerate it. Men won't tend to do what a woman won't put up with. Second he knows you will stay with him. All of this creates an environment that says I can cheat and there won't be any consequences
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
He thinks that he can manipulate me into thinking that he never cheats... Which means that when he says that he says he cares about and loves me he really doesnt! Plus Ita always my fault when he does wrong or someone else is psycho and crazy etc!
Am I right?
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I don't know if he cares about you but his behavior says a lot. It is never YOUR fault when he cheats. That something he does totally on his own. Don't accept that. That is the oldest trick in the book. You are absolutely right! He needs to find out why he cheats and it starts by looking at oneself
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
From his actions it seems that he doesnot care right? Your help will help me out alot in making a choice with him
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
Your choice is to not choose a cheater. He has proven what he is. It doesn't mean he doesn't care. It means that he is willing to cheat on someone he does care about which is worse.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Wow! So true meaning he has no conscience which makes him worse...
Thank you !