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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Cant tolerate people who break my trust

Customer Question

I have a very thick protective wall when it comes to trusting people. Once someone breaks my trust I pretty much write them off. I know very well that people are not perfect as I am not but I still find it easy to just discontinue having a person in my life who has broken my trust. I don't tend to have any strong feelings of sadness that the person is no longer in my life. Its like I'm numb. I see many people in my life forgive and let people back into their lives so easily, even when the person that hurt them is a repeat offender or has done something so bad that I personally wouldn't even concider continuing to have that person in my life. I see this so often that I feel quite alone and wonder, how is it that so many allow others back into their lives after breaking their trust?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

You have to work on your ability to forgive and forget. People tend to be able to forgive others even for a break in trust. Also work on the ability to value a friendship so much that you are willing to trust another person or look past their indiscretions. When you value their friendship, you can talk about your concerns rather than walk away. You cannot look to people and say you hurt me when really you are reacting to old hurts. That isn't fair. If you learn to talk about your fears you will also have healthier relationships that don't end so quickly. Everyone has faults; you have to allow for that.


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