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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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There is a guy that I have been seeing since January. We established

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There is a guy that I have been seeing since January. We established that we were not looking for anythything serious so we became "friends with benefits." However, as time progressed, I have started to feel like I want to be more than just "friends with benefits." We only see each other on the weekends and for the last month or so I have been "allowed" to stay the night. I think that he wants more as well because of the "signs" that I have been seeing, but could i'm not sure if i'm misreading them. Please help...
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
You are missing the number one advantage in a relationship of any kind. You have a firm friendship so ask for what you want. Ask him how he feels about you and why. You can tell him how you feel if you get a positive answer. If you are having sex and you are good friends then use that see if this can develop. Ask and explore how he feels! If you get a luke warm answer then reveal your feelings slowly. Don't look for signs - talk! Signs can be very deceiving
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

I have told myself to just let it ride and see where this relationship takes us. There has been successful relationships that comes out from situations like mine. I am insecure about myself but he doesn't seem to mine the flaws that I see in myself. Which is great. I think that I am just afraid that he will say that he is still not interested in more than just "friends." He has never invited me to a party with his friends. I have met his friends but I have none to introduce him to. Today for instance, his friends are having a party tonight and they were going to pick him up. So instead of waiting until he leaves he offered to walk me to my car.

Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
You should not wait or things may never change. There is a chance that he won't be interested, but the alternative is to be friends forever because he doesn't know. You can tell him if he is not interested you are find remaining friends. He seems very considerate so decide when is the best time to talk. You can still salvage the friendship
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I did a stupid thing today which made me seek advice from a professional. I read his text messages which of course crossed the line of trust, this I know. However, i found that he had expressed interest in another girl with one of his friends. Though it is not that he wanted a relationship with her but only for sex. I know that this shouldn't make me jealous and that i should believe him when he tells me that he has not been with anyone else. From your experience and knowledge, is it possible to have a successful relationship if it started off as friends with benefits?
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I think it is very possible. Regarding girl, you aren't dating so as you said that isn't something to be mad about. But you develop a healthy relationship starting today by being honest and developing this together. Even if you are having sex you are still friends which is based on communication. This makes a solid basis so decide if you want to take it to the next level
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Thank you so much. It is times like these when i wish i had some girl friends. However, they would probably just tell me to move on and create drama that I wouldn't want.