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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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My boyfriend and I got in a huge fight and now he has stopped

Resolved Question:

My boyfriend and I got in a huge fight and now he has stopped talking to me. We have gotten in huge fights before and usually the way he deals with it is just by ignoring me. This time I think it is different. I recently found out he went out with his cousin and this other girl she is friends with. They played darts and supposedly danced. Yet, on his facebook it said that her back feels so much better and she doesn't need to go to the doctor. I instantly assumed he gave her a massage. I asked him about it but it instantly just became a huge fight. I was upset that he never takes me out dancing, but yet finds it okay to dance with a girl that "he only met twice". We have been fighting for a couple days and we both said some mean things. I mostly said the worst things and I feel regret and hurt by what I said I know he feels hurt too. He's currently working on getting his green card so I told him I would report him and then I told him I did (even though I didn't). I was so hurt by the fact that he had danced with that girl and all these thoughts of what might of happened that I didn't know about went through my head so I was very angry. Now we fought yesterday in the afternoon and he still hasnt talked to me. I want to give him space but I feel so impatient and worried he just hates me. What do I do?

Thank you.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

If you have texted then you have made the first move. Although you are inpatient you have to give him some times to respond . You have a right to be angry although you handled this very badly. If he really cares this one fight won't end everything. You before this is worked out have to find out if the boundaries of the relationship has been violated by his meeting up with this girl. Don't be overzealous to keep relationship that you accept things that are against what you want to tolerate. Connect with him but don't be too accepting. Text him once more to see if he is ready to talk.


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Customer: replied 6 years ago.

I'm just scared that he doesn't love me anymore and I screwed up bad. We both said things but he got really angry at me. We were engaged and my birthday is XXXXX 3 days. I'm just afraid he doesn't care enough and will never talk to me again. I don't want to be a pest and keep texting him because he probably wants his space.

I know he also screwed up and shouldn't have danced with that girl. He says it is just dancing but I have trust issues from my upbringing. He got mad at me when I got angry with him for dancing and never allowed me to be upset about it. Which made me even more angry. I'm not sure what to do. If I should start moving on or keep missing him and being heartbroken.

Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I know. But if it is a solid relationship this fight won't stop everything. People fight. That is with any relationship. Don't assume you won't talk. You were engaged. I don't want you to be a pest either. I know it's hard. But you have to have some patience. Your trust issues can be resolved enough to have a happy relationship. Don't move on yet. See if this can resolved.
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