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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am a 26 year old female. I was in a relationship with a 30

Customer Question

I am a 26 year old female. I was in a relationship with a 30 year old guy for 1 year and almost 10 months. We were very happy together but there were times I was insecure. He broke up with me 11 weeks ago because he said he was too stressed out with work and needed time to focus on himself and his job. He kept saying it wasn't me and that he's not sure if he ever wants to get married. He said he needed time and space to think about things. Well I took it really hard. I kept begging him to give us another chance and he just kept getting upset. I left him alone for a week after breaking up and he called me just to see how I was. He wants to be friends right now and told me not to have high hopes because he doesn't know how he will feel about us in the future. It's really difficult for me to be friends with him. Since we've broken up, I've been the one initiating conversations and asking to hang out. We've been texting each other almost every day since the break up. But again, it's usually me who initiates it. I don't know what to do. Every day is a struggle. He's all I think about even when I'm out with friends. Is there any hope of us getting back together?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

He has let you know the he is not willing to be a couple. What you are going now is trying to behave as if he will change his mind. He has told you already that is not going to happen. I fear that you are holding out hope for nothing. Anything is possible. However his comments suggest that it is over. The reason being friends is hard is because that is not what you want. By trying to be friends you are lying to yourself and leaving the door of hope open (when it probably should stay close). This is a mistake. Let it go. Let it all go. Let him know it is too painful to be friends and you need to move on. Then find a way to do that effectively in your life. You will find someone who deserves you if you allow yourself to let go




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