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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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What is the right thing to do in this situation My first

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What is the right thing to do in this situation? My first cousin is getting married on August 13th and we have known the date for about 5 months and received a save the date card about two months ago. My mother and Aunt (his mother) are very close and she and my cousin were quite involved in my wedding last year. It's always been the plan to go to his and I have talked about the rehearsal dinner, band, reception, luncheons, etc with my Aunt. However no official invitation in the mail yet. My husband's good friend who lives in the UK, where my husband is from, told my husband he was engaged two weeks ago and we got the invitation yesterday - for the same date as my cousin. My husband would rather go to his friend's wedding, but I don't want to go alone to my cousin's and feel like it has been the plan for months - we have planned vacations around the date, etc. Husband says friend beat my cousin to the actual invitation in the mail and therefore it's first come first serve! Is that true? What is the proper thing for my husband to do?
It is not first come first serve. It does not come down to a piece of paper. If your cousin is having a wedding you are obligated whether the invitation has come or not. You have to decide as a couple how you want to tackle this. You could each go to your friend's/family's wedding. If they are at different times, then go to the ceremony or reception rather than both. Decide who is the priority and send the other a gift. You have to decide this as a couple.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I am pregnant and the wedding of his friend's is in another country and the idea of a long flight where I can't get comfortable is not great. So I don't want to go at all to his friend's. I guess my husband could go alone, but I don't want to go alone to my cousin's (sober dancing at 6 months pregnant with other people is horrifying thought!) and feel I shouldn't have to since we were always going to go. Writing this I feel selfish - I am saying "I" a lot I know. But I just feel like putting my foot down and want to know if I am a position where that is an acceptable thing to do
I agree with you. I don't agree that you are selfish. If you are pregnant and friend's wedding is in another country, I think husband should go with you. Both of those influence the decision. I would appeal to his sympathy about being pregnant and encourage him to go with you. You can also have your cousin ask him.
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