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MrsRuss0114, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 215
Experience:  B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.
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intense breakup and alone as single mom in new area.

Customer Question

i feel unsure and lost and empty after my breakup in an intense relationship of four years. what do i do why is he so mean when i talk to him? can i save my relationship with him?
after 3 years of off and on again long distance relationship, i decided to move down to be with him. so i packed up my daughter and I and move down thinking that eventually will we become a family and such. after 6 months and things get tough he breaks up with me and moves out with the intention to stay friends and sleep with me. of course, now that hes gone kind of...i get pregnant, i have no friends or family which i though he was. now That i found out im pregnant he is even more distant and negative about us. I thought we were in love....i guess not..why is he acting this way...did i do something wrong?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  MrsRuss0114 replied 6 years ago.

Russ0114 : Hello and thank you for choosing just answer, I look forward to assisting you.
Russ0114 : It's absolutey NOT your fault. He sounds very selfish and is obviously not the man you met and fell in love with. I'd say now is the time that you enlist the help and support of your family as it'll probably be in the beat interest of you and your children to be near people who truly love and care for you. He's being so negative about the pregnancy because that links the two of you forever and for his own selfish reasons, he doesn't want that. I'm very sorry that you're going through this but just know that it isn't your fault, you moved to be closer to a man you thought was committed to the relationship you two were in. You need to begin to set some boundaries with him and not allow him to pop in and out of your life when he feels like it. Although this is a tough time, you will make it through for you and your children.
Russ0114 : If this was helpful, please press accept feedback is welcomed and appreciated.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you for the insight..its not surprising what he is doing but at the same time I am dumbfounded by the way he is...really? after 4 years? of love and connection? Is he lost did I do something wrong? I dont understand? I cry and he tells me im so much drama...interesting...You are right that I should create boundaries of how he comes around...
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
Expert:  MrsRuss0114 replied 6 years ago.

It doesn't look like my last response posted, again, this is not your fault, something changed for him and instead of talking to you about it, he's trying to push you away. The two of you were in a relationship together for quite sometime and it sounds like when you relocated to be with him that's when he began acting the way he acts towards you now. He wants to blame you so that he doesn't have to take responsibility for things ending. You don't deserve to be treated this way and you don't need the stress especially while pregnant.