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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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This has to do with a damaged relationship between my sister

Customer Question

This has to do with a damaged relationship between my sister and I.
Last July my sister and her husband invited my kids and I to move out here with her when our home foreclosed. It was to be a temporary arrangement. Once moving out here though, my husband moved out, my leg broke, and everything just seemed to be adding to an already overcrowded noisy environment with her and her husband, their 3 kids and dog and i with my 4 kids and 4 dogs. Yeah...
So, the other day my sister just exploded, telling me that this is her house, which yes it true, and as long as we're all living in her house my kids have to listen to her and her husband first and foremost.
I bristled at that and told them (rather yelled back) that yes my kids need to respect them and their rules but they will answer to me first. A bunch of shouting ensued and we were then told me had 30 days to be the *#*$ out of their house. Since then, things have been VERY tense and sad. My sister is the only family I have out here and there doesn't seem to be any way to fix this. My kids are sad because their cousins have been told to stay away from them, and they were best friends before this blow out.
I'd like to know what I can do to try to repair this. I will be making sure I move out by then, but what do I do in the mean time?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
As you probably know the living arrangements have strained the relationship. This will probably improve when you make other arrangements. In the meantime, call a family meeting. Set up ground rules like no name calling, blaming, cussing etc. Share concerns and work on compromises. If everyone comes together much of this can be resolved. You should do this to repair the relationship with your sister too
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

We have tried the family meetings and as long as everyone agrees to what my sister and her husband decide to have for rules, everything goes fine. It's when my kids just want to say something or myself when all hell breaks loose.

The shouting match the other day was the results of agreeing to an 'adult council session' when the kids were heading to bed. That's when they both decided to yell at me because I don't make my kids to all they tell them to after I've already told them to do something I want my own kids to do. They all pull their weight, cleaning house and cleaning the yard while her kids play with each other or the neighborhood kids.

I'm just at a loss. It's the silent treatment and 'let's pretend they don't exist' behavior they have that's driving me and my kids to tears.