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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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We had a bbq at our house for my husbands work colleagues. He

Customer Question

We had a bbq at our house for my husbands work colleagues.
He proceeded to get very drunk and ended up kissing one
of his colleagues wives. I say he was cheating he insists he
was too drunk to remember anything. Help. I am ready to walk out!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

First of all being drunk is not an excuse to do anything. If you do something you are responsible for that act. If you remember or don't remember you are responsible for that act. I am an addictions counselor so this is fact: Alcohol makes the inhibitors ineffective. These are what under normal circumstances keep you from acting like a fool. However, the intention and the desire to do something is there when you are sober but you are able to resist that desire. When drunk (or liquid courage) you now can act on your desire. He didn't lose his moral compass. He did what he wanted to do anyway



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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Why would he do this when our marriage was going along smoothly?
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

He is the only one that knows that. He could have had a small attraction or he thought no one would find out. These reasons come to mind. Maybe he thought he would get away with it because he was drunk. It may have nothing to do with you (believe it or not). Ask him - he will probably blame the alcohol. You may not know that considering the circumstances.



Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Is it possible to work through this or is it time to consider divorce? I ask because I am afraid he will do this again.
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I think you can definiately work through this. Although he was wrong this is not a huge issue that can be solved. Try marriage counseling. Discuss in there that you are afraid he will do it again

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