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MrsRuss0114, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 215
Experience:  B.A.Psychology, MSW, LCSW, HS-BCP; 8+ yrs experience.
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i have a boyfriend in the army who soon after we got together

Customer Question

i have a boyfriend in the army who soon after we got together went through a depression. he has come out of it with counselling and drugs, and i have helped him by going through all the stuff that used to stew in his mind, rather than letting it take over. he has tackled it head on and i am really proud of him. he was posted overseas a couple of weeks ago, and now i am in a limbo land as he has never said i love you, and we havent' had sex since feb. i think he hinted that the drugs mess with his libido, but we havent' really talked about it. he hasn't even kissed me either. he is also 11 yrs younger than me. he is 29 and i just turned 40. So sometimes i think i am being naiive and chasing a rainbow, but he seems steadfast and solid, even though we havent' kissed in months, or talked about how he feels abotu me, or the future. he isn't daft though and to hang out with a 40 yr old surely menas he is committed. he knows i want kids, so why would he waste my time, he has to be considering me as a serious option.

BUT - he is very bad at communictaion.. he goes days without texts or calls, and then his texts are very generic, no love talk, and it sends me inot an emotional tailspin.

A couple of weekends ago i was at a wedding and i slept with someone else. i dont' regret it as my boyfriend has shown me no affection in such a long time. This other man is highly eligible, and he didn't ask if i was on the pil lor not but seemed to assume i was. i didn't tuen out to be pregnant, because of the timing, and i was hugely relieved as it meant that i could have a go with the boyfriend without complaications.

i saw the eligible man again at the weekend and we had sex again. This time it was in my most fwertile period, so i don't know whether to take the morning after pill, or let nature take its course and see what fate deals me. i think it is immoral to steal a man's sperm unwittingly, but surely he knows where babies come from, he has had sex with me twice now without contraception.

I dont' know whether my prioroty in life is to have a wonderful relationship, or a baby. I can see that these 2 situtaions are mutually exclusive. the eligible man will not want to be with me, he was talking about is ex a lot when i saw him at the weekend. But at 40 can i really take the morning after pill. Shoudl i take it and then find out what the boyfrined is really feeling, and if it doen'st work out with him go to a sperm bank or adopt or find a new boyfrined (i am 40 though!) or should i see what happens? I have 24 hours left to take the pill, so all a bit time critical - thank you!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  MrsRuss0114 replied 6 years ago.

Russ0114 : Hello, some of your story got cut off, do you mind pasting it into the chat box? I'd be glad to try to assist you.
JACUSTOMER-ymx08t8z- :

the time has now passed - it was really time critical and the site said i would get a rapid answer - how do i go about getting my money back? i have no reply, yet the money has gone from my account! thanks so much.

Russ0114 : You have to request through customer service.