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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am considering ending my 2-year relationship with my boyfriend.

Customer Question

I am considering ending my 2-year relationship with my boyfriend. I am 47 and he is 45. We get along great for the most part however; he is an admitted sex addict. He tells me that he wants help and does not want me to end the relationship. I have discovered that he has frequently had oral sex with gay men at a sex parlour. Furthermore he has phone sex and chats with women online. He tells me that he wants help but I am sure that I cannot get over this. My question to you is this do you think that maybe I am the one with a problem for even giving this a second thought? Intellectually I think that this is a no-brainer and I should just walk away.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

You should walk away if you want a person you know for sure has none of these behaviors. This is a very difficult problem to treat. It takes lengthy therapy and a total commitment on the part of the patient. It can be at least as addictive as drugs if not worse. He is engaging in a variety of behaviors that are considered sexual addiction. You have to consider the possibility that he could bring diseases to you. Not to mention that he may not have what it takes to really deal with this addiction. If he wants help he needs to show it through actions right now. There are therapists who treat sex addiction or even addiction in general. Talk is cheap. That is how you tell = in actions



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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
If he goes in to treatment. I guess I still have to figure if I can let go of the past. Thank you for your input.
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
You definitely do have to make that decision. That falls on you. Do what makes you happy not just what is easy. You have to accept ALL his behavior
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I just wanted to let you know that came back to this site to ask a legal question and I seen my question to you. I dumped him a couple weeks after I asked your advice and it was the best thing I ever did. Thank you for your advice!!
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.
You are welcome