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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I am a mother of 3 young children and have been married for

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I am a mother of 3 young children and have been married for 10 years. My husband and I got pregnant with our first right away and then had two others and I entered menopause early. Now that I'm through with all the hormonal issues and my kids are not babies I'm realizing that I've lost a sense of self. My husband has a lot of good qualities but is very controlling and therefore makes it difficult for me to live my life the way I want to. I'm questioning whether I want to even work on our marriage at this point or not but It's a huge dilemma because I feel like I'd be putting my own needs above my children's. Can you give me some advice?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.



There has to be a point in your life when you take care of your own needs. If you're in some sort of a limbo whether it is emotional or situational, how are you to give your attention to others including your kids?


Even if the act seems selfish to you, you've got to exercise some healthy selfishness once in a while. Self care and self improvement are things that you will come back to over and over.


You may want to make a list of the most pressing things you're concerned about those that are minuscule and then arrange them in the order of what you want to tackle on first. Just because something does not appear as important as another thing on your list does not mean that it does not matter to you. Whatever it is you want to do, reconsider what of those things are possible and realistically doable options and try to find ways to work on them. Otherwise, what you feel now may haunt you again years down the road. It is best to start sooner than later or worse- never. Self sacrifice is not a sign of love and taking care of your needs is not a sin.

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