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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have following example from my troubled marriage We are

Resolved Question:

I have following example from my troubled marriage:
We are hugging. She says she feels/sense me being “cold” and “ full of hate”.
I say no. I say I felt pretty neutral but originally did not wanted to hug her.
She says I need to see a therapist in order to deal with “my unhealthy feelings”.
I say I trust that she may have felt what she did but that she cant project them onto me as facts for me as well.

She cant see that her point of view is irrational.
Ive stopped trying to convince her of the opposite.

Comments ?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

It sounds like there is a complete breakdown of communication on both of your parts. Emotions are a hard thing to convey when two people do not see eye to eye. You both are sending mixed messages. You say you care but you don't originally want to hug her. This may be a symptom of some underlying feelings. Or she may be misinterpreting some physical actions on your part due to her perception that you don't care. There may be projecting happening both ways. The best way to resolve this is through marriage counseling where you can explore this in a neutral environment. Also get Mars and Venus Together Forever which also talks about communication and intimacy.


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