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Ask Rev.Dr. August Abbott Your Own Question
Rev.Dr. August Abbott
Rev.Dr. August Abbott, Clergy
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7608
Experience:  Ordained minister: Counselor (spiritual/life)
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I am a 47 year old woman, I was raised to beleive the man that

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I am a 47 year old woman, I was raised to beleive the man that called himself my I found out at age 14 he was not my real father. Knowing this I started looking for my real Dad. My other never told me about him and when I was 3 years old my mother left and never told my real dad where I was and ultimately he never found me, he appealed to the judge, hired a private investigator and wrote a heart breaking letter to my mother's parents. No body ever help it to find me and always met at a dead end. It was not a good divorce and I never got to see him again. When I was 18 I found my real dad and I had sisters and brothers and all, but my Mother was so weak that there was no way he could be in mmy life. I am flying to Washington to see him for the first time and meet my sisters and brothers. My question is I want to give him something special and I am very limited as he didn't raise me but never forgot me. What kind of gift could I bring him that just says your baby girl is ok even though I was abused by my step dad I did have,
i don't have any pictures of me really at all so I can't get a picture to frame, I don't know him well, what kind of gift can anyone suggest for a man who didn't get to raise me and let him know I don't blame him it was my mom who did it and robbed me of my real father. I need ideas that aren't lame but that would mean the world to him. He is 70 years old now and I am going to see him but wanted to give him a special gift from me to him that he will always look at. He is in poor health, doesn't work anymore and I don't know what I could get for him that isn't a lame gift, I want a special gift to give him. What do you men out there or any woman who has had the same situation. I am leaving to meet him next Thursday....please help as I don't want to be lame and look stupid in the gift...He is a man's man, just a normal guy. please give me ideas. Thanks
-- What a beautiful story in that you finally connected to your true dad and that you'll be a part of his life in person, even if it's at this later end of life's journey.

-- I understand what you hope to do and how much you want to get this right. Let me tell you, first and most of all, relax. No matter what it is that you give, when he looks at it he'll think of you. Even if you give him a coin from your pocket - a coin just like a billion others - at the moment you hand it to him it'll be the "one and only one" that is from you.

No, I'm not saying to give him a coin, but it's a thought. Like a bright new penny set in a little frame with a note "A penny for your thoughts over all the years we've missed"

When it comes to a photo it would be simple enough to have someone take a pic of you and print it out - put it in a frame with the inscription "I hope to never miss you again"

Also, find out what he enjoys. Just about everyone has a collection of something or favorite thing to do. If he's a sports nut, find out his favorite team and find something unusual to do with them. A pen in the shape of a baseball bat with the team's name on it; a refrigerator magnet of hockey sticks; a football paperweight, you get the idea.

Tie it in to you with a notepad to go with the pen and the first note saying, 'now you'll always be able to stay in touch'; or a little poem to go under the magnet, or paperweight.

These are just ideas to get you thinking in a different direction. Something sort of corny, but creative.

If he's a Christian, perhaps a rosary or medal; even a small, personal bible that lists all of his children's birthdates, including yours.

The botXXXXX XXXXXne is that you need not try so hard. Imagine if he were to give you something. Wouldn't you be happy no matter what it was - and wouldn't you always remember that it came from him? You'd think of him every time you looked at it, no matter what.

That's because it's truly not so much the gift that counts, but the thought. Be sincere and that will shine through and leave footprints in his heart forever.

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