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Ask Rev.Dr. August Abbott Your Own Question
Rev.Dr. August Abbott
Rev.Dr. August Abbott, Clergy
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7608
Experience:  Ordained minister: Counselor (spiritual/life)
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Hey .. how can start an conversation with any girl in the library

Customer Question

Hey .. how can start an conversation with any girl in the library or in the coffee shop and then relax and ask her for further information ??
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rev.Dr. August Abbott replied 6 years ago.
-- Be observant. Find something to comment on. For example, if she's reading a book, ask about it, but in a way that will lead to more questions. If it's a study aid, ask if she's good in the subject or whether or not you're meeting a future (whatever the book is).

Find a piece of jewelry she's wearing and ask about it. "That necklace looks like it might be an heirloom. Is there a story behind it?" - or "Beautiful ring - what is that stone called?"


Even something as simple as "I can't help but say something - that color (scarf, sweater, blouse, hat, whatever) is your color. It's stunning on you"

Be sure to be enthusiastic and sincere. Smile, look her in the eye and if she doesn't respond with a reply that encourages more conversation, just move on.

People love to hear about themselves, especially when it's flattery that sounds genuine.

And noting something subtle like a piece of jewelry or color is just enough to make you different without being strange or threatening.

Have more lighthearted subjects in mind to continue if you're given the opportunity, but keep it more or less focused on her. If you're talking about movies, ask something that will require a long answer like 'What's the first movie that ever really scared you when you were a kid?', or 'Did you ever think super heroes were real?' - you get the idea.

Keep the audience wanting more. In this case the girl. After talking for a while, tell her you've enjoyed meeting her and would love the chance to have more conversations with her. Then ask, "May I call you?"

You'll be fine. It's just getting started that's the hard part

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
?Well sometimes I dont feel relax because when I see a beatiful girl I would like to start a conversation with her to maybe be my girlfriend ?? So is it possible to lead from this point to a relation ??
Expert:  Rev.Dr. August Abbott replied 6 years ago.
-- You have to start slowly like this or you'll frighten the girl away. You can't walk up to someone and ask her to be your girlfriend. By starting with conversation that will show her how witty and nice you are, she is more likely to give you her phone number and once you start having more meetings with her, it turns into dating and that pretty much means she's your girlfriend.

What you need to remind yourself is that no matter who you approach, they are just as human as you are. So relax. Picture her doing something that we all do everyday, like brushing her teeth or sitting around at home watching t.v., having popcorn or something common.

She might be as nervous about meeting someone new as you are.

And no matter what, never stop trying. Believe me, one will be the 'right one'

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
so from the first time is it right to talk her number ?? well maybe some one that I have seen for the first time and maybe will never see her again , but someone that I usually see ?? is their difference ??

And yes how can I know if she is in Relationship or single ?? are there any hints ??
Expert:  Rev.Dr. August Abbott replied 6 years ago.
If after you strike up a conversation she seems to be comfortable in continuing it, just before you leave, tell her you would love to talk again and ask for her number.

Even if this is someone you usually see, yes, find something to sit and talk about, like the suggestions mentioned earlier and ask for her number before you go on your way.

If someone is in a relationship, it's at this time she will usually say so. As for any clues or hints before that, it's hard to tell. If you've seen her with the same guy a lot of times, she's probably in a relationship, but you never know until you ask. The guy could just be a friend.

The more you approach people, the better you'll get. So don't just approach girls you want to be your girlfriend, approach all sorts of people and just start talking. Find something good to say about them to begin and then ask questions so that they'll be talking about themselves.

You'll make a lot of new friends this way and who knows, maybe one of them has a friend, cousin or sister who is 'the one' for you.

Good luck !

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
hi , I saw a girl and i talked with her just for a little , she was studying for a midterm in the library.. I asked her and she answered I didnt felt comfortable becuase I thought she will ask me the same questions to make the conversation longer so I decided to stop and contuine studying then after a while she left. I really feel disappionted for not asking for her name and her phone but I was thinking on that time on many things .. Now If I see her again should I make something or not ?Did I make a mistake for not asking for her name and number ? could I make things in the right way again?? please I need your help ..
Expert:  Rev.Dr. August Abbott replied 6 years ago.
-- Why were you afraid she'd ask the same questions? If she did, just answer them.

Though it's a good start to have the girl talking about herself - and she'll remember you as the guy who was interested, you of course have to be willing to share your own background.

I'm not sure what you want. Are you? You just want a girl to tell you about herself and give you her number, then be your girlfriend, but you don't want to put anything of yourself into this? That will never work.

You have to be personable, interested and interesting. Have hobbies to talk about, or things you like, maybe talk about a collection you have of, oh, maybe old movie memorabelia or things to do with a favorite movie, or even a rock collection that you can talk intelligently about.

You didn't make a mistake in not asking for her name and number, you made a mistake in not being prepared to share fun facts about yourself.

Try again. Keep trying. Good luck!

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
so if I see her again should I ask for her name and talk for a little bit and then take her number ??
**well if she didnt ask me I should talk about myself this is what are you saying ?
Expert:  Rev.Dr. August Abbott replied 6 years ago.
- You said you were afraid to continue talking because she "might" ask you the same questions.

I'm saying that you need to be prepared to answer these questions if she asks, like you were thinking she would.

And have some interesting things to share with her (tell her about), like your hobbies or collections. Lighthearted things where you make her smile - then, express that you've enjoyed talking with her so much that you'd like her phone number so you can call and get together to talk some more.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I was disappointed because she didt ask me anything , I was the only one who was talking .. But is this an issue or it's alright ..
Expert:  Rev.Dr. August Abbott replied 6 years ago.
Maybe she's almost as shy as you are. Things don't have to happen super fast. Talk to her for a while one day and try to run into her again another day. The more comfortable she becomes with you, the more she might talk.

--- Let things happen naturally.

If she continues to not contribute to the conversation or be really quiet, take this as a 'hint' that she's not interested and just keep it very casual after that. A 'hello, how are you today? ' or other small talk and then move on

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
So next time I see her should I talk with her for a bit then ask for her number or wait ?? What do you think ??
Expert:  Rev.Dr. August Abbott replied 6 years ago.
You are the one there. You have to trust your instincts. If you see her all the time, just talk the first couple of times and if she seems to like talking to you, ask for her number.

You're the only one who really knows
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
hi .. I talked with her and then I ask her if she go to the gym she said yes and then I asked for her phone and she said sure , but I texted her yesturday and she didnt respond until now ? what do you think ??