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Mark Manley
Mark Manley, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Want help with your most important relationships? Licensed Marriage/Family Counselor.
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Hello, I have a question. My boyfriend and I have been

Resolved Question:

Hello, I have a question.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. He has made friends with his co-worker, of whom I do not like. Anyway, after much talk, I have agreed to try and not make a big deal about them spending time together, as they are just friends and I do trust him. However, she has recently been invited to another co-workers wedding. She asked her common law husband to go with her, but he declined. She has now asked my boyfriend to see if it was okay with me if him and her went together. I said that firstly he shouldn't have to ask me what he can and cannot do, but that I didn't want him to go, as it is disrespectful to me. After trying to explain to him that even though we don't have to do everything together, the whole point of being in a relationship is because you love the other person and WANT to be with them. He should respectfully XXXXX XXXXX invitation from his friend. He does not see my side and says I am crazy!

Am I crazy? I do not need a man by my side, I am an independent person, but if the situation was reversed I would not have even asked my boyfriend, I would have declined the invitation right away. Is my view of the situation wrong?

Thanks in advance for your response!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Mark Manley replied 6 years ago.
Thanks for using JustAnswer.

I have read your question and I am happy to respond.

You are right on the money. He is off base, ( so is she, but that is beside the point).

Don't expect him to see this clearly at this point but do tell him it is not OK with you. If he persists tell him you think it's time to rethink the relationship. If he persists further walk away from the relationship.

If he complies with your wishes, don't try to force him to understand how and why he is off base, just accept his correct behavior and let the insight come later. The reason I say this is because he is probably too much infatuated with the attention he is receiving from her to think most clearly at this point. If he hangs in with you, there will be other opportunities for him to learn more appropriate boundaries and proper motivation for them.

If he leaves, then you will be clear that he is not looking for the same kind of relationship as you are, and you will be free to meet some one else who is.

Congratulations on your clarity and self respect.

Mark Manley

Relationship Expert
Over 20 years experience.
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