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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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so my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago after 4 years...just

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so my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago after 4 years...just said we weren't a match because of my parenting methods and he didn't see a future with us I do know he signed up for a dating service in the last few days. I've told him not to kick me out of the future and that I was working on bettering my parenting skills and finding myself. I'm just crushed though...I feel like it's over. We've had two intimate encounters in the last two weeks (because we miss each other) but he's still on the dating service. And today's physical encounter was different. He seemed so distant. I'm assuming I shouldn't have done this today but I just missed him. We are both 43 and he just has been so wonderful to my family and I. I'm feeling so confused and sad.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

You have to find out from him if it is the parenting issues and if that is the whole reason. It seems a little strange that all of a sudden the would question your parenting. If it is the parenting then you are addressing it. If not then what is the entire reason for his breaking up. I just get the feeling that that is not the whole reason. Discuss this with him so that you are not focusing on the right solution. Secondly you should never talk to ex's about a problem with your relationship. That is not cool. The only one that knows the solution to this puzzle is your boyfriend. It is good that you are addressing this. Just make sure that is the reason. It is going to work out one way or another. Insist that you get the whole story



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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Ok, so it's been a month and here I am again. My exboyfriend and I are still not back together but we have seen each other alot in the last month. I pushed him with alot of questions tonight (ie do you still love me? what would you like to see in the future?, etc) and he came back with "I still don't think we are a match in our lives". So I pushed him with more questions which he then responded "we need a clean break up and I mean it this time. Go find a guy who will make you happy". I ended up apologizing for pushing him...and then I asked him if I could still take him for dinner for his birthday this weekend and he said "maybe". I know he's not dating anyone and he does still care about me alot, but he says he has alot to fix with himself and I need to fix myself too. Yet we do get together 2 or 3 times a week...sometimes I even stay all night with him. Am I going mad? Why can't i figure out the future of this relationship. He just means so much to me, and he's a very honest person, although I wonder if he just doesn't want to hurt me anymore than he has. However, back to parenting issues (from first time I asked question a month ago), he did say last week "I shouldn't be talking to you because you haven't fixed some of the parenting issues" of which I defended myself rightly and he dropped it.
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
The problem is that you are both sending mixed messages and neither one of you are consistent in responding in behavior to what you want. He is also included in this statement. That results in confusion. If he is still concerned about the parenting then you should take some parenting classes. they are very inexpensive. See if that is the major issue. However if he wants a clean break then you may have to give it to him. But he is still around which leads me to believe that he just wants some serious changes. See by enrolling in a parenting class
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