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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Ok here is the full story I was talking about in my last question. I

Customer Question

Ok here is the full story I was talking about in my last question.

I knew this girl since Elemetary school and High School, I talked to her and all at school but nothing really any more. I had a crush on her

About 4-5 years later I saw her at a funeral and held my arm around her while at the grave side service, we talked a little then left and went our ways

About 3 years later I saw her on myspace and sent her a friend request, we talked a little and meet up for lunch one afternoon. She had a son and he was 5. We had lunch and talked and went back to her place and talked for a couple hours. We ended up going out several times and talking a lot only making me like her even more. We went out to dinner, went to a theater shows and all over the next 5 months. She always said yes and was willing to go anytime so I invited her to my sisters birthday party. She had several glasses of wine and ended up telling me all about how she thought about me over the years and missed me and I was the kind of guy she and her son needed in their lives. I told her I had a crush on her in high school and she said she wished so bad I would have told her. Well that night got crazy and we ended up having sex at her request, I was hesitant but she kept persisting. After that she was very distant and we didn’t talk at all. After a couple weeks she said she was drunk and there was no telling what she might have said that night. It really hit me hard and I think freaked both of us out and we saw each other about 2 months later then just faded apart until last year. I later found out that she was in the process of working things out with her Ex (sons dad) and it was all falling apart at the same time.

So here we are 2 years later and I contact her on facebook. I say hey how are you how have you been. We end up meeting up for dinner and talking. Nothing about the past just catching up. Over the next 3-4 months we see each other a few times and have dinner always with her son. Right before New Year’s I was leaving town and she wanted to see me just her and I before I left. I was going to Las Vegas so we went to dinner and saw a movie. When I returned it was about a month before she had time to see me again and we went bowling and I brought her and her son a gift from Vegas. We went out again a couple weeks later and then it was about 2.5 weeks having dinner. On that last dinner she mentioned that we didn’t need to let it be so long between times we saw each other. I agreed and told her anytime she if free just let me know and we would go out. Since then she has been available the past couple weeks several times and had dinner alone with her a few times and went to play putt putt with her and her son. She invited me to go to her son’s friends baseball game and then to his first game of the year but it rained them out so her and I had lunch alone. It went great and she was talking about going to blockbuster and the grocery store later because her son was having a friend over. We ended up going to both on the way home. She also ask if I wanted to go to a local scenic park or zoo with them.over his spring break. So this past weekend she text me that it looks like he is going to have his game so I wasn’t sure if that was an invite so I just ask do you think he would mind if I watch his game and she said no not at all. So I went to the game and he said thanks for coming and gave me a leg hug (that was the first) the game was this past Saturday. Sunday we went to the park and had a great time and watched the laser show and all, he actually interacted with me more and climbed on my shoulders.

I really like this girl now and can’t figure out if she likes me back. I’ve noticed a few signs that maybe she does but I’m not sure. She does seem nervous around me, she looks down sometimes when talking and sometimes holds eye contact good, he eyes sometimes are really glossy when she is talking to me, she seems to be more available lately, I kids me sometimes like playing putt putt and bowling that I’ve been practicing, I joke with her and pick at her a little, we almost always give each other a hug when we leave and the other day she laid her head on my chest while giving me a hug. Other than hugs that is all the physical contact we have had, I really want to hold her hand or just hold her in general but I’m worried about messing up and moving too soon and running her away.
From the way she talks her son’s dad has nothing to do with him and didn’t even tell him merry Christmas just left a message on facebook that said merry x mas call me. I think she is over him but I could be wrong. Her son is good friends with one of my sister’s friends child and the girl I’m talking to has mentioned to her about going with me to dinner or doing things with me. My sisters friend said from what she can gather any relationship with her will be slow and she wants someone responsible.

This is a ton of info and
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

I got it all. There is a big hole in this whole story. You have not asked her about pursuing a relationship, if she is over her ex (which she has to be with all this contact) or what she is looking for in a relationship right now. You have spent a lot of time guessing. She isn't spending all of this time with you because she hates you. Just find a starting point (depends on what she is looking for) and go for it. You both like each other. What's the problem? Don't be scared. Open up a discussion about everything you want to know. If she wants a responsible person, be a responsible person. Stop wasting any more time. She lets you around her son - that's a big flag that says I like you. Work out the perimeters and start there. You have a chance to be in a relationship that has a history. Most don't get that chance. You will kick yourself if you don't pursue this soon. I wish you the best



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Customer: replied 6 years ago.

At this point, what would you suggest is the best way to bring this up.


I'm thinking of asking her to dinner, just me and her and after dinner go for a walk and tell her how much i like spending time with her and her and her son and that I really like her and care for her. I don't want to rush things but I just thought she should know how I feel. Idk if i just say i'm not sure what you are exactly looking for but I felt I should tell you how I was feeling.


Then depending on her reaction let her have some space to think about it but hopefully she will say she feels the same.


Does that sound like a good plan or what is your suggestion??

Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
Absolutely. You are on the right (best) path. Do just that. You will then know exactly how to proceed. I'm pulling for you