Relationship

Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP

Ask an Expert,
Get an Answer ASAP!

Relationship

How do you deal with your wifes midlife crisis to make it

Customer Question
How do you deal with...
How do you deal with your wife's midlife crisis to make it through without a divorce
Submitted: 6 years ago.Category: Relationship
Show More
Show Less
Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Answered in 2 minutes by:
3/20/2011
Counselor: Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist replied 6 years ago
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4,627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Verified

Hi,

 

would you please share- how is the mid life crisis affecting her? Is she thinking that she needs to find herself and do something else with her life, is she having an affair, etc.

Ask Your Own Relationship Question
Customer reply replied 6 years ago
no affair but she doesn't know what she wants she says she want independce she wants to take care of herself she sends alot of mixed signals to me she has used the line i love you but not in love with you
Counselor: Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist replied 6 years ago

Thank you for clarifying. There are different approaches for you to consider depending on what she wants to do in return. If you're the only one doing all of the work on the marriage, no matter what techniques you resort to, it would still need her 50% to meet you half way and to make things work.

1/ If she feels that she needs independence and to take care of her needs, that is all good as long as in the process of attempting to do this she does not disregard you/the family. Having some autonomy in any relationship is healthy but as long as it is not done for the expense of others.

2/ being married and seeking fulfillment do not have to interfere with one another. Is she perceiving you as controlling, or is she feeling guilty when she is seeking to rediscover herself? Because, it if it the latter, she could be projecting her guilt onto you. She ought to be willing to objectively look at her behavior and how it may be affecting you.

3/ You may ask her what is she wanting from you, what is she willing to give you in return and in what time frame should this take place. She could explore her issues in individual counseling and she can also consider marital counseling if she feels that there is something you need to hear in the presence of an objective person i.e counselor.

 

As far as how you cope with her behavior- this will depend on what you want to achieve. Are you trying to reach a peaceful state of mind despite what she's doing, are you having difficulties understanding what she's talking about and why is this happening now (empty nest, she's lost her job, she has developed a low self esteem, she's experiencing hormonal changes and they are affecting her mood/behavior, etc)

 

You'd have to be prepared to know that you yourself cannot change her or what she wants or is trying to do. You can only change your expectations of her and your perception of the outcome. If you think she's suffering for whatever reason, then you try to see it from her point of view and help her as best as you could, even if it means just being present and listening in a non judgmental way.

 

Being in love is a state of mind that she herself evokes within herself. The feeling of being in love is largely dependent on neurochemistry and hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, etc. Love is love. She does not have to have butterflies in her stomach as a teenager to know that she loves you. Love has many stages from being in love and all intoxicated with feelings to becoming mature and secure in your love life. She may be confusing the initial stage of falling in love that does trigger all of those neurochemicals with the fact that as time goes by, love progresses to another level.

 

Check this support on line option click here

Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4,627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Verified
Dr Rossi and 87 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Ask your own question now
Ask Dr Rossi Your Own Question
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4,627
4,627 Satisfied Customers
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.

Dr Rossi is online now

A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How JustAnswer works:

  • Ask an ExpertExperts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional AnswerVia email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction GuaranteeRate the answer you receive.

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help.

Mary C.Freshfield, Liverpool, UK

This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!!

AlexLos Angeles, CA

Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult.

GPHesperia, CA

I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion.

JustinKernersville, NC

Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around.

EstherWoodstock, NY

Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know.

RobinElkton, Maryland

He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here.

DianeDallas, TX

< Previous | Next >

Meet the Experts:

TherapistMaryAnn

TherapistMaryAnn

Counselor

1,706 satisfied customers

Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues

Ms Chase

Ms Chase

Life Coach

853 satisfied customers

Over 20 yrs experience with Relationships, Sexuality, Friendship, and Family Issues

Alicia_MSW

Alicia_MSW

Psychotherapist

468 satisfied customers

Specializing in relationship/family counseling

Dr. Norman Brown

Dr. Norman Brown

Marriage Therapist

426 satisfied customers

Family Therapist & teacher 35+ yrs; PhD research in couples

Dr. L

Dr. L

Psychologist

366 satisfied customers

Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Therapist, LCSW

338 satisfied customers

Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency

DrJackiePhD

DrJackiePhD

Doctor

336 satisfied customers

I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.

< Previous | Next >

Related Relationship Questions
I hope this doesn't sound bad, but it will, lol! I am
Jen, I hope this doesn't sound bad, but it will, lol ! I am continuing to date him but he knows I am not as committed as him in the relationship and that I am bothered by his pushiness and do not have… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
The guy who came to my house on a second date is asking to
Hi Jen The guy who came to my house on a second date is asking to spend time with me again on the weekend. I did not yet reply. He said that this time he will bring his guitar. I am confused. I have m… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
I hope for you. The catalyst that brought me to a decision
Jen , Good day I hope for you. The catalyst that brought me to a decision (the final straw) to end my marriage was when my husband was plotting to buy an investment property with my oldest son without… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
I am almost 58 and had been date a 24 girl, she was really
I am almost 58 and had been date a 24 girl, she was really into me, fun and funny, with were good frieds as well. she always wanted to be psychical but a fought. I believe she had some separetion anlg… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
164 satisfied customers
10 years ago I met this man. He is still in my life. He's..
Hello. :) 10 years ago I met this man. He is still in my life. He's Joe. I'm Carmen. He asked for a sign from God. The next day we got a street sign "JOE and CARMEN" 10 years goes by. I joined the Arm… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
164 satisfied customers
Over the weekend she liked a lightning compilation video I
Hi Jen :)Over the weekend she liked a lightning compilation video I made from the video captured on my drone, so I gather she is saying she is still around... Got really excited on Friday night as I f… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
I have OCD, depression, eating disorder. I used to not be
I have OCD, depression, eating disorder. I used to not be able to have family or friends over unless I was my perfect self. That would mean eating good and on my low weight side and active. I started … read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,706 satisfied customers
Whenever I get drunk I have urges to cheat on my partner, by
Whenever I get drunk I have urges to cheat on my partner, by thinking about using prostitution … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
164 satisfied customers
Dumped my boyfirend yesterday. Basically he was replying my
Basically he was replying my messages so late, whenever I call he says I will call you back and he doesn't, he says his busys but doesn't tell me? Yesterday when I said we need to be frends he said you know we won't be friends and he also said we are not meant to be together … read more
matt50025002
matt50025002
Owner of a waste management company
Master\u0027s Degree
117 satisfied customers
I promissed an update! Well here it is. So yesterday she
Hey,I promissed an update! Well here it is.So yesterday she cancelled the date because she was tierd (what she told me). And she told me that we can go out today, and a moment ago I asked her when we … read more
Therapist Leslie
Therapist Leslie
Masters, Professional Psychology
5 satisfied customers
Question for Female Therapist. - Thanks for re-connecting
[Second opinion] Question for Female Therapist. - Thanks for re-connecting with me. In my last letter (Oct 27),I indicated that Ro had said "hi" and started to say, "Harv how have you bee....."but the… read more
TherapistMaryAnn
TherapistMaryAnn
Counselor
Master's Degree
1,706 satisfied customers
I am in a bit of s spot I talk to guys on the internet and I
I am in a bit of s spot I talk to guys on the internet and I have two guys that like me a lot. And they both decided to come home at the same time just s day apart should I tell them about each other … read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
My problem is about a relationship in which I m into from
Hi, My problem is about a relationship in which I m into from past 1 year. I am married and she is also married but currently she is staying away from her husband though they meet each other occasiona… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
164 satisfied customers
I just ran into my ex at the grocery store. It's been a
I just ran into my ex at the grocery store. It's been a year. He stood behind me in line at the check out. I ignored him. I totally broke down afterward. I know i still have feelings for him. But he t… read more
TherapistJen
TherapistJen
Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Master\u0027s Degree
950 satisfied customers
I'm a 38 year old single woman and feel like I am going
Hello, I'm a 38 year old single woman and feel like I am going through a bit of a crisis. Throughout my life I have always found friendships a bit difficult but felt I had finally reached the stage of… read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
164 satisfied customers
My bf for 11mos.wanted to stop texting amd calling each
Hi! My bf for 11mos.wanted to stop texting amd calling each other for 7days now..we are into a LDR im here in philippines he is in saudi.but i miss him so much an still love him..can i text him? … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
164 satisfied customers
I m having some kind of issues regarding my relationship
Hi: i m having some kind of issues regarding my relationship please i like to discuss those issues and ll like to get a honest opinion thanks… read more
Dr.G.
Dr.G.
Counseling Psychologist
Doctoral Degree
446 satisfied customers
Just have a question about my relationship. I have been
I have been dating a guy for 6 months now. He is 24 years older than me and he lost him job 4 months ago and has been super depressed. I have been super orient with him and just letting him have his space and what not because on his good days he is super sweet. Well we got into our first fight. I had a bad day and just needed his comfort. Instead he wasn't comforting at al. Ignored me didn't want to talk to me and now for the last 4 days has barley talked to me. Yesterday he said he needs space and that I am smothering him. Not sure what that means... … read more
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
JohnMichaels,MS,LPC
Counselor
Master\u0027s Degree
164 satisfied customers
Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Disclaimer: Information in questions, answers, and other posts on this site ("Posts") comes from individual users, not JustAnswer; JustAnswer is not responsible for Posts. Posts are for general information, are not intended to substitute for informed professional advice (medical, legal, veterinary, financial, etc.), or to establish a professional-client relationship. The site and services are provided "as is" with no warranty or representations by JustAnswer regarding the qualifications of Experts. To see what credentials have been verified by a third-party service, please click on the "Verified" symbol in some Experts' profiles. JustAnswer is not intended or designed for EMERGENCY questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals.

Show MoreShow Less

Ask Your Question

x