How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask psychlady Your Own Question
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hi I am with a 57 year old man I am 39 we have dated for 5

Resolved Question:

Hi I am with a 57 year old man I am 39 we have dated for 5 years, he is married but he spends 6 nights a week with me, we have a house life etc together. The problem I have he was seeing women before me for a 9 years and I recently found out they had been in touch, I took it on myself to find this lady and confront it so happened he was there and I confronted him he told me he was so glad I found him and he phoned her immediately to say he wanted to do with her I was listening to the phone call he as since sent a solicitors letter to her to remove her from the house she occupies he owns it solely. We seem to have got stronger and he now says he is putting in place a plan to permanently leave his marital home he as two kids none at home though bothnmarried off. The trouble is I was on his computer this week and found an order for Viagra he hid the receipts etc but I found them can he be trusted do you think?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
Just because he ordered Viagra doesn' t mean this has anything to do with her or anyone else. I would work on building strong foundation based on trust especially in light of the circumstances in which you have functioned for some time (the wife). It is going to be so important to to find a trusting place to be together consider the circumstances. As far as Viagra, I would not be scared to ask. You should be able to ask about anything. Men use this for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with a relationship with someone else. These can include insecurity about their sexual performance, anxiety about getting older, desire to perform at the maximum length of time or have top performance, etc. This could be an aide for sex with you especially since there is a age difference
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I did ask him about the Viagra and he just said tom leave him alone. He is highly sexed two three times per day why would he need them? Our sex life is the best I have ever had, don't understand why he would jepodise everything. Do you think my trust as gone should I end the relationship
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Also he was registered over 12 months ago with datingnagency said he was just fooling around which when I found them he had not answered or anything and he asked me to take accounts of which I did what do you think?
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I think the dating agency alarms me more than the Viagra. Both together are very alarming. I think if you have no trust and have reasons to have no trust, then you should consider whether the relationship is worth savings. trust is the foundation for any relationship. Consider your options and decide if this is alarming enough to let it go. These together are two very concerning factors - men in committed relationships don't need dating agencies.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Since all this came out he says from the moment I came and got him from the womens house he knew I loved said he as totally changed wants to settle and even trybfor a baby do you think this is bullshit
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

There is a good possibility that it is. If someones buys Viagra, has a girlfriend and is on a dating site, he isn't ready to commit and is probably a very good liar. You don't change all that behavior because you get caught. = The best predictor of the future is the past=

Find a guy who is committed to you and brings you such happiness that you don't have to worry about what he is doing or viewing.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Think I know what I have to do just wanted opinion of another person thanks I do deserve better
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I agree
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you