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Ask Rev.Dr. August Abbott Your Own Question
Rev.Dr. August Abbott
Rev.Dr. August Abbott, Clergy
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7627
Experience:  Ordained minister: Counselor (spiritual/life)
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husband of 10 years recently admitted that he is unable to

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husband of 10 years recently admitted that he is "unable to feel love" not me specifically but thinks that it is a relational issue because he has difficulty experiencing the feeling with regards XXXXX XXXXX children too... says he has never "felt love" before... is there anything we can do?
-- It took a great deal of courage for your husband to say this to you. That means he truly trusts you and believes the relationship you share is strong enough to survive a deep and probably painful secret he's carried for a lifetime.

--- This belief of not being able to feel love is not something that happens all of a sudden. He's probably been thinking there's something wrong with him for a very long time.

--- What he needs to do first is get an accurate diagnosis, if there is any. You see, sometimes a person is so influenced by what they see and hear in the media, along with possible social exaggerations among family and friends, that they have a misconception about what "love" should look and feel like.

Because he might not feel head over heels, or giddy, overwhelmed, etc., he may think he's not feeling "love".

The truth is that we all feel it differently. Many, many people seem to be unemotional their entire lives, even cold or callous, but when it comes down to it, they love just as much and as sincerely XXXXX XXXXX person prone to grand romantic gestures and public displays of affection.


On the other hand, some people are actually incapable of bonding, attachments or (this is the major part) having a conscience. They go through life mimicking those things.

If this is the case, there is no "cure" - only saving yourself before you get hurt; however, in that your husband was bothered enough to have said something to begin with leads me to believe he's not this type.

Seeing a licensed psychologist who can administer specific tests is your most prudent step. From there you can proceed with a much better knowledge of what you're dealing with.

The praying helps no matter what. God give you the strength to carry whatever burden you may be carrying.

Rev.Dr. August Abbott and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you so much for your time and insight!!! I read this to my husband and it brought tears to his eyes because he felt you could finally understand!! Thank you for sharing your gift with us here in web land ha... have a fabulous weekend!! and thank you for giving us hope!
Thank you for such kind words, but give yourself some credit. You gave yourselves hope. He, by opening up and trusting you; you, by understanding and caring.

There is a reason you two have lasted a decade and I am confident will have many decades more