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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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For the past week, my boyfriend and I have fought almost every

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For the past week, my boyfriend and I have fought almost every day about something petty. The fights keep getting worse, and I'm worried about the toll these arguments are taking on us and our relationship. We have been together for almost a year and a half and have always dealt with our arguments well (talking things out calmly and mutually apologizing). But these past fights have been more like screaming, yelling, irrational arguments that neither of us, stubborn as we are, give in to until quite some time later. It's getting ridiculous. For example, yesterday was one of the best days we've ever had together, but when we called each other after going back to our respective homes, the conversation ended in a huge, overblown argument.

We've come to the conclusion that, because we love each other very much, we are going to try to get through the next few days without fighting. But I don't like the idea of having to TRY not to fight. Shouldn't it just be natural for us to get along more than we argue?

I would appreciate any advice or insight or thoughts, or anything at this point. I feel so frustrated, upset, and lost. Thank you.
The two of could spend some time when you are not angry educating yourself on positive communication. The best thing out there is an old book called Mars and Venus together forever. It is wonderful! It even includes basic rules for communicating (and arguing) called the rules of fair fighting. I love it. There are ways to discipline yourselves that will make arguing a positive way of fighting. One rule is that no one is to play historian (someone bringing up what you did from 2 years ago); staying on task and not having arguments that last like a marathon (tht usually means you got off topic or you are now arguing about 3 different things), respecting each others differences especially in terms of gender. Try to find something and work on when things are calm or pass this back and forth to benefit both of you. There are also couples counselors that see people who aren't married
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