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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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my wife and i are having some relationship problems and i meet

Customer Question

my wife and i are having some relationship problems and i meet another woman. i recently told the other woman that it was best for us not see each other no more because i couldnt focus on my problems with my wife. But, i cant stop thinking about the other woman and i dont feel like being lovey dubby with my wife.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

You were right in your thinking that without new woman you can concentrate on your marriage. But it won't be easy to turn that off so I am not surprised. The only thing that helps in separating from someone is lack of contact and time. I am not saying you should stay in any relationship out of obligation. Make a choice and give that choice 100%. If it's your wife, then focus on her and the distractions will minimize over time. Spend your time finding out why you would even stray; that should be your focus. Find ways to improve the relationship so that you don't feel like there is a void. Some of those thoughts can be colored by healthy intimacy and dedication. The lovey dovey stuff will return when you are focused on the two of you and not feeling maybe a little resentful instead. Work on this intimacy slowly


If you choose to go, then do it respectfully XXXXX XXXXX

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
before i meet the other woman my wife use to tell me she wasnt happy in the relationship because i dont go to the grocery store, or i dont help her with bills( i just give her the mony to pay them). i feel like she dosent have good relationship my biological daughter, because her kids are grown and almost out of the house. she dont want no more kids, which i knew that when i married her, because i have a daughter already, so i was fine with that. But, thought she would be a little bit more motherly to my daughter then what she is, even though my daugter has a mother. my wife acts like her parenting days are over because her kids are older. so it makes me think what if my daughter have to live me one day. this is another situation. we stop having sex often and it didnt bother me that we did. it was like i didnt want to or just didnt have the earge too. i know there have been some disconnection and now i have meet this other woman its hard.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Im just not feeling my wife like I use too. We talked last night about us being distant. She had more to say then i did. She said I was doing a better job around the house and I replied that I was doing the same thing I have been doing. the only thing I could say is there is some disconnection. She know there is too. She ask me do I want this relationship or is there someone else. No I didn't tell het about the other woman. And I don't know if I should. I don't know what to do. I don't want to feel like this. But I do. I only have been married for 2 yrs. And may makes 2yrs.
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Do i tell her there was infidelity not just communications with the other woman
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
No, but you can still get past hurdle. It is very important to try to do this with help. This often leads to feelings of guilt which complicates a relationship that is already having some difficulty or it will probably not happen. The key is to resolve the core problem in the relationship so as to not use any further ways that are not effective. This has to be discussed and resolved. But the end result depends on you and your wife's feelings about this. Use this setting to voice your real feelings so you don't function on facades

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