When my boyfriend and I were going through a rough patch I…

When my boyfriend and I were going through a rough patch I found naked pictures of a girl on his phone that she had sent to him and naked pictures of him which he had sent to her. I went mad and split up with him but he seemed so upset and sorry for what he had done that we got back together. A couple of years later we have started arguing about similar but less serious stuff. First of all we argued about him blowing off a girl asking to sleep with him by telling her that he was sure it would be fun sleeping with her but that he had a girlfriend. I tried to explain to him that he could have just said he had a girlfriend and left it at that but he doesnt understand why I was upset.

The next argument was about him personal training his ex, which I said I was ok with, thinking that he wouldnt treat her any less professionally than his other female clients. However he would text her late at night and as soon as he left for work in the morning and putting kisses on the end of text messages to her and talking about her personal life (all things that he didnt do with his other female clients). I told him that it wasnt very happy about that because it seemed a bit flirty. Again he didnt understand why I was upset and just thought I was being irrational or had had a bad week etc - not that it was was he was doing that was upsetting me. I tried to explain that I didnt want his ex - someone I went to high school with thinking that my boyfriend is interested in them and telling other people that.

The next thing that happened was that I found out that he was personal training a girl our age which he hadnt told me. He said he didnt want to tell me because I wasnt happy with him training the his ex and therefore that it was better if I didnt know so that we didnt argue. So I was upset that he deliberately hadnt told me and that he didnt understand why I had been upset with him training with his ex. He just took it that I was annoyed with him training her at all when I was annoyed that he was flirting with her, but again because he doesnt see it as flirting he just takes it upon himself to decide that I am actually annoyed for another reason.

The newest argument is about his new female friend, a girl that he knew when he was ten but hadnt seen since but has temporarily moved back into the area. He sees her twice a week at an exercise class that he teaches but they exchanged numbers so that they could arrange to meet up for a coffee to catch up over the last 18 years. He asked me if I was ok with him going to meet her one day for a coffee and I said yes I am fine with it. I have male friends at uni that I meet for coffees etc so I genuinely didnt mind. However when the day of the coffee came he told me at the last minute that she couldnt make it for a coffee that day but that she could meet him for a drink that night in a pub. I explained that I didnt feel that that was the same and that it would upset me if he went for a drink with her instead of a coffee. I know it sounds petty but it really does seem different to me - it seems more like a date, and also I had only been back from Uni for a few days but he chose to go and spend the evening with her rather than me. Again he disagreed that I should be upset and went anyway, so as not to be rude and cancel on the girl. He was hazy about where they were meeting but said he would just have one drink and wouldnt be long. In the end it transpired that he had driven 45 minutes out of his way to go and meet her (when its a hassle to ever get him to go out of his way to do things for me which arent on the way), he also was gone for about 4 hours, so obviously he stayed for more than one drink.

After their catch up I thought that would be it but we have argued since about him texting her all the time and putting kisses on the end (his excuse was that he thought I as alright without despite us having previously argued about it!). He has said now that although he doesnt understand why putting kisses on the end of messages and texting at unsociable hours and going for drinks at night upsets me but that he wont do it because it upsets me. Resolved or so I thought.... Then he said two days later in passing by the way I hope you dont mind but I got his female friend a card and a present for her birthday (a book on a comedian that I dont share his like for), all wrapped up carefully and thoughtfully, and said he hadnt put me on the card as she isnt my friend and he had put kisses in the card. We had a huge row about it and now I have told him that I need time to think. During our row I asked him if he had met her again and he said no then eventually he said yes - they'd met for a coffee but hadnt told me because he thought I would be annoyed! Despite me saying that I was ok with coffees!!!!! But even so he still did it although he thought it would upset me. He also seems really upset that she is leaving soon which hurts me.

Please help I feel like I am going around in circles!