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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Hello, I have a question regarding a relationship that I am

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Hello, I have a question regarding a relationship that I am in. I have been with my gf for almost a year now. And I have asked many questions regarding our relationship. Well for one she lives with me and it is hard sometimes because I like to go out with friends wo her. She works a lot and this is my off season so by the weekend comes i am ready to go out. her complaints are i never get excited for her and I to go which is mainly bec shes not a lot of fun when she complains I have work in the morning. My friends don't complain. I have noticed with a lot of girls I dated how they are always out with there friends when they are single but there friends disappear when they go out with you? Why is that? Women end their social life that fast. Its like how do you tone it down to there level. My gf says go out with your friends then I get I a text you dont care about me. Its driving me crazy.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
Women tend to be insecure when it comes to the social aspect. I can't give you a specific reason except to say that their focus becomes on the romantic relationship solely and friends becomes secondary. That is a shame but I think it's true. Women have tunnel vision and it becomes all about their love life. Women have a hard time balancing the two and then project that onto you which causes problems. I don't know of any couple where that isn't true. Woman place sole importance on the guy and feel secondary when you don't do the same. Try to work on making her feel special including date nights that are just about her. Reassure her on days you are hanging out that she's special. Limit this to whatever to whatever is fair for you two. Work on this over time so that a healthy compromise can be reached
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
So its almost like they are willing to lose those friends ie of 15 years because of a guy. or in this case me. Automatically when we go out its whos the new girl. Whats her name. Are most women that insecure? Because this whole situation puts strain on any relationship on top of evferything else. Like last Sat she worked and came home at it was my friend's bday. She said we will go out and by the time it was time she fell aspleep. Now I had two options stay home or go out. Well I already said WE were comming so I feel bad to blow them off everytime she says ok but then either falls asleep or does not want to. Eventually my friends are gonna be like see you later. It was actually a good time where his friend Alex brogught a girlfriend with her my age and who was super fun. She did hint like well nobody has asked me out since last April and Lets get pizza. I know the boundaries but I also know that you have to have fun. From my own experiences yet another women could fill certain other interests she may not be good in others.
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I agree and yes that is what I mean. We women put everything on the back burner for guys. And for what. The relationship may not work out and we have to scatter to find our friends again. It is terrible but true. Continue to include her and this will begin to help. Women tend to feel excluded from male relationships and then feel less significant. Try to find common interests and experiences that will help when she feels that you "like them more". Sometimes that is what it is - they don't feel important.
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