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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am currently separated and have begun dating. Ive left

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I am currently separated and have begun dating. I've left a 24 year emotionally abusive relationship where I was manipulated and forced into having sex. I always gave in to avoid the consequences later. I went on a third date last night. This man I have dated and I have been communicating since November and because of the holidays and his visitation with his son, we have only had two dates up until last night. He has called me every day for a month and we talked and seemed to enjoy each other. We live an hour away from each other and I met him last night at his apartment with the idea that we'd be going out to dinner then back to his place to watch a movie. When I got there, he became an octopus and I had a difficult time fending off his hands. I was enjoying it but it was a bit overwhelming. I told him no a few times and backed off to put space between us but eventually ended up giving in and we ended up in bed. After the time in bed, we dressed, ordered take out and watched the movie. We didn't talk much after and around 10, I left and drove home. My question is I guess, is how do I handle a man who comes on so strong?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I have concerned that your experience (abusive) lead you to "give in" to sex rather than stand your ground. This man is not your ex and you have a choice. You don't have to do anything you are not 100% committed to doing. If you are not ready, voice this. If nothing changes, leave. No means no but it's up to you to be consistent. Coming on too strong is another way of saying being aggressive. Don't let liking him lure you into having sex before you are ready. Try to assert yourself from this point forward and stick to what you want to do and not what you feel obligated to doing. Everyone has this in them. find your power
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