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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am tired of his family, my trust issues with him and i jst

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I am tired of his family, my trust issues with him and i jst want to get out of that house. We have a 9 year old daughter. I have changed myself to that i could be accepted by his family. I used to be an outgoing person. That was about 13 years ago. No I just want to get away from that house and his whole family that lives in the same yard as us. I cannot over come my trust issue with him...its really hard! I have been trying to learn to trust him but i cant let it go.
If you are leaving, then it doesn't matter if he does so or not. Trust appears to already be a factor that is dividing you. That happens a lot after cheating. It is very difficult to fix this. You could go to a professional if you want to give it one more try. If not, then begin to plan your exit. Everything - money, housing, employment etc. Don't do anything harshly. Do it smartly. These are your two choices and only you can make that decision
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
How do I explain this to a 9 year old?? This is the hard part. I dont want her to be unhappy. I am already unhappy...but for her to be the same way, would break my heart. I think I only stayed with him because of our daughter. I tried to make it work for her sake. I just dont know how to tell her....but i think she has an idea. Also, when i talk to him, he seems to flip everything around and throw it all back on me. But i wasnt the one who cheated in the first place. He starts to bring up all the crap i did to him, which was nothing compared to cheating.
You are probably right. But you can't get the child through this without being honest but not brutally honest. Brutally honest is your father's a cheater. Honest is for instance: "Me and your dad are having some problems. We are just somewhere else while we work on things. This has nothing to do with you. We both love you. So we are going to .. for awhile" That's what I mean. You can't sheld her completely. She is old enough to know that there are things going on. Being in an unhappy home is such as destructive. People forget that sometimes because they worry about the children. But we forget that children are resilient and adapt pretty well. She will adjust to the situation gradually over time
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