How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site. Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask psychlady Your Own Question
psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
psychlady is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I had an affair which ended my marriage. Im still with the

Resolved Question:

I had an affair which ended my marriage. Im still with the man, who I was friends with for 10 years, that I had the affair with but can't help feeling insecure probably because the whole relationship began in such an unhealthy way. Also he works with lots of women and has a history of an office affair. Im thinking of ending this relationship before my insecurity destroys it anyway
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
If you are unhappy or will always feel insecure, then that is probably best. His infidelity (office and you) and your own creates a destructive path. You may be very happy in another relationship that begins on a positive note. This relationship could certainly breed insecurity and anxiety. Be in one that you deserve - healthy and fulfilling
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
In lots of ways the relationship is fulfilling. We re great friends have lots of fun and have great sex which was a problem in my previous relationship. To be honest when the affair came out I expected this man to run a mile but has actually behaved very well and the relationship has blossomed. He hasn't actually done anything wrong that I know about - I just feel threatened by all these women! I try to rationalise these thoughts and they do kind of blow over most of the time. Its just a particular works night out has come up for him that I'm just massively bothered about
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
You probably are feeling this way due to the way the relationship started, but that doesn't mean that is valid. If you are willing to work on it, you can engage as a couple to resolve these insecurities through honesty and hard work. If the relationship is good, then maybe you can set a reasonable time frame to work on this issue. If you want to move on or think that it is too difficult then start looking elsewhere. It is up to you because you can really reflect on how fixable this problem is to you.
psychlady and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you