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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I have a best friend here at school who Ive been very close

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I have a best friend here at school who I've been very close to for over a year. When we first met she had a boyfriend so any thought of asking her out has been pushed out of my head. Even after her breakup I've always tried to be the best friend to her that I can be without any kind of intimacy. The other night she brought a guy to studio with her and they seemed to be developing intimate feelings for each other. When I saw that I was hit by an overwhelming and unexpected feeling of disappointment and jealousy. Frankly I am confused and embarrassed by my reaction. I never realized how strong my feelings for her were until I saw her with that other guy. Now I'm stuck not knowing what to do. I want to tell her about my reaction because she's my friend but I don't want to overwhelm her and scare her out of something that seems to be making her happy. And more than anything else I'm afraid of losing my best friend or damaging our friendship in any way. Any advice is welcome. Thank You.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.
I assume that if you are talking to people home you must be in college. You can disclose your feelings to her but you take the chance on changing the relationship. However if you don't she can't make an informed decision about you and the other guy. So you need to decide what you value the most - a friend who will never know how you feel / or a possible girlfriend (that may not feel the same way). That's the tradeoff. What situation makes you happier. If you are going to tell her, do it soon. Don't wait until she really likes this guy; you may want to find out how much she does like him and consider that in your decision. Be careful of your words and you will be able to communicate this without freaking her out
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