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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Im recently married , and having issues with my husband, he

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<p>Im recently married , and having issues with my husband, he have 2 children one by an ex-wife second with a mistress when he was married 12 years ago. The problem is that the mother of the 12 year old   she is texting him and calling him for "issues " with the daughter. Which at first I had no problem but when I see the text 'Hello" and I guess youre not going to answer" it made me feel uncomfortable, and also only calling him on the cell phone. Well this evening I wanted it to Stop I demanded that her tell no more text and to call on the house phone out of respect for his wife. Well he told her " I want you call the house phone " never once said stop texting and not to call on cell,due too its making my new wife uncomfortable. So I took it upon myself to call her and tell only to call the home phone no cell phone and or texting due it is disrepectful. Well he blew up! started bringing my pass relationships up issue we had prior to marriage and called me " ignorant  ass wife" Im really hurt by this and dont know how to handle this Im need help? <br />Everytime we have issue I getting my past thrown in my face and Im sick of it.Oh my past issue is that I kept talking a male friend that he felt was not respectful, so I stop all contact but to this day he accuse me of still have a relationship with this person. Im so done ,were both professional in our mid 40's . I didnt get remarried to go thru this mess.</p>
I agree that this is uncalled for. One of the rules of "fair fighting" is that you don't play the historian - or bring up old issues. This is not productive and it's hurtful. I would not want him referring to me in this way whether we having a problem on not. He could have handled this in a way that respected the both of you. It is really up to you if you want to put up with this, but counseling can really target fair fighting and do this quite well. I would recommend this to so that you both can have a discussion and come to a solution. As far as the ex, this is where he needs to handle this . He is the party in the middle. But he needs to do this in a more respectful way or she isn't; going to respect the boundaries in your relationship. Try to work this out and common to a mutual decision but then he has to enforce it.
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