How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr.G. Your Own Question
Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr.G. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have done something awful. After a drunken night out I slept

Resolved Question:

I have done something awful. After a drunken night out I slept with someone else. It wasn't 'proper' but I still did it and I feel terrible. The morning after I had to go away (without my girlfriend) so I haven't told her but have seen her since.

Initially I decided that it was best not to tell her because it meant nothing and was something I didn't want to do or wouldn't ever do again. If anything I felt inside myself that it made my love for her stronger. However, I have been feeling tremendously guilty ever since as you can imagine. I have mulled it over whether I should tell her or not and I don't know what to do.

Is telling her the selfish thing to do because it clears my conscience?
Or should I tell her and risk the relationship based on something so trivial in the long run?

We are not married and have been going out for nearly two years. If we end up married for 50 years, is this something that is important overall or not?

I would really appreciate your advice!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 6 years ago.
I think you tell her because it is the right thing to do. You have to have open and honest communication with your partner and hiding this big lie will definitely not help your cause. You say you will never do it again, well did you set out to do it this time? My guess is no. So how do you know you can prevent it again? Tell her and clear the air. You owe it to her and yourself.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I appreciate it is the right thing to do, I've always known that. However, we both love each other very much. Knowing her, she would find it difficult to move past this and therefore our relationship could end. I appreciate that I have done the crime so should expect to do the time, that isn't the real issue for me. My real dilema is if we do go on to be happily married and have a great life together does this matter overall? That's why I'm weighing it up!
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 6 years ago.
I have told you my opinion. If you don't want to hear it or take it then that is your prerogative.
Dr.G. and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

Related Relationship Questions