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psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6893
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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I am very concerned with the content and tone of my grand daughters

Customer Question

I am very concerned with the content and tone of my grand daughter's facebook postings. She has commented on thinking in detail about how she might "go out" and that when she tries to think of something else she can't. She's said that she's at fault for sobbing and throwing up. That that is how she starts her day. She has always been solitary, very bright and artistically creative and she has made odd statements before. Her mother says that I shouldn't worry but these latest remarks are scaring me.
Also, my daughter has hinted at serious depression, remarking that if menopause is an exageration of her periods, that she will have to have someone to watch her. Implying she may harm herself. My granddaughter's father and daughter's ex-husband committed suicide in the past year. I believe they both are suffering from guilt. My mother killed herself when I was 13 and I know the negative impact that can have. My daughter's stepmother killed herself when she was about the same age.
Well, anyway, that's the situation. But to add to it. I live about 5,000 miles away. I responded to the facebook positings by saying I undertood, that I've experienced the same feelings and that things do get better, to hang on. My daughter has not returned my calls. I'm not sure what to do now. I don't want to do something that makes them slam the partially opened door in my face. But my stress level is going up. Help!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  psychlady replied 6 years ago.

Please get your relative help however and whenever you can. It sounds like she is suffering from chronic depression and is reaching out (only to the wrong people). These are all signs and symptoms of depression. In addition, depression can be found in families. She has a very profound genetic history.


If she is far away it makes it very challenging and your only way to take the right steps is through the parents. I know you are scared that you could make things worse communication wise but this is very important. Try to find the person who is responsible for her and have them drag her if they have to to counseling. Also find a support group for her and her guardian. This takes education and outreach. Have her find other children/teens that have depression. You may also encourage the family to get her a mentor that she is more anxious to share her inner thoughts. It would be great to find her a mentor that shares her creativity. All of this can be found online or through putting in time and effort so encourage them to do so. Places like the Alliance for the Mentally Ill can also offer help but they are here - I don't know about your town. Keep communication open and offer these up but if they are resistant than they are not ready to address this